Episode Report Card Kim: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT That's Why They Call It The Blues
By Kim | Season 13 | Episode 12 | Aired on 10.25.2011
It's the usual "stars are reaching their breaking points" montage. They all talk about how tough rehearsals are, and how they are filled with self-doubt. Hope had trouble hearing that she wasn't sexy but also claims that someone told her she looked like a dude and like she had balls. Who told her that? I hope she doesn't go online. That is a terrible idea. Anyway, they are all stressed, they are all working hard, and they all want to make it to the end.
Kenny Ortega has choreographed a routine for Corbin Bleu and a troupe of dancers. Corbin is singing and he's... not that great. It's tough to recognize him without the giant hair, too. Oof, he's really off-key while singing "42nd Street." Then they move on to "Cool" from West Side Story and they put Corbin in a giant cage and wheel him around? I don't know. Here's the problem with singing iconic songs - if it doesn't sound as good or better than the original, it's really obvious. The medley moves on to the final song, the titular rap from In The Heights. That's Corbin's strong suit, and he's a great dancer. Just maybe not a Broadway-ready singer.
Martina McBride is on hand to perform and promote the CMA awards. She's joined by Chelsie and Val doing the same sort of routine they do every week. I get that there's not much you can do with contemporary slow songs, but I'm a little tired of the same old routine every week.
Time for more results! Kym does a super cute impersonation of Olivia Newton-John. I mean, she's got the accent and the blonde ponytail already. During their routine, Bruno noticed that David was on the wrong foot at one point, and after the dance, David told Kym that he messed some things up. Chaz was hoping for sevens from the judges, and only got one. And as bad as his dancing was, he did not deserve to be called a penguin by Bruno, especially after Bruno called him an Ewok a few weeks ago. That's harsh, dude. Chaz has a point when he says in the confessional that overweight women on the show are celebrated but he's seen as cute and cuddly, like a mascot. It's dehumanizing. Although, seriously, has Chaz lost any weight? When we go back live, the audience boos at Bruno, who shakes his head and doesn't seem to get what the big deal is. Fuck off, Bruno. Score the dancing, not the attractiveness of the dancer in your twisted mind. David and Kym are safe. Whew! Chaz and Lacey are in jeopardy, but they had to be expecting that.
Next week is a special Halloween event, and Mark and Lacey are going to show us a preview along with some little kids. These kids are really, really good. I bet Mark is actually really good with the little kids, and Lacey too. He may have found his calling. And somehow he doesn't pull focus like he does with his other partners. Am I... do I like something Mark is doing? What is wrong with me?