Episode Report Card 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Astral Monkey
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 20 | Aired on March 9, 2001
Halliwell Manor. Day. Kitchen. Phoebe "Personally Spacy" Halliwell, in white drawstring pants, white long-sleeved top with black dots, and ponytail, lopes into the room. She greets "Cry Me a" Piper Halliwell, who looks oddly interchangeable with her sister, since they're wearing the same outfit. Perhaps the docile Ps should call each other and ask what they're wearing before they meet in the kitchen in the morning so they're not embarrassed? Perhaps this is a way-obvious set-up for lame hijinks later in the show? Probably the latter. Pheebs asks if Piper read Dan "I Will Stalk Five Hundred Miles" Gordon's postcard. Piper has. THE HELL? For one thing, the only communication between the two of them should be through law enforcement channels. For another thing, don't read mail that's not yours, Phoebe, even if it's only a postcard. For yet another thing, NO ONE CARES WHERE DAN IS THIS EPISODE OR, FOR THAT MATTER, EVER. Anyway, Piper is looking perturbed by another piece of mail. Seems Dr. Williamson from the "Awakened" episode has been sending her letters asking her to come in for some more "blood work." Phoebe: "An angel brought you back to life; trust me, you're cured." She tells Piper to just throw the letter away. While they're on the subject of trash, Phoebe's started to root through it, where she finds an empty box of her granola. Piper admits that Leo ate it all; she'll replace it. Phoebe goes into passive-aggressive mode, and suggests some "ground rules if Leo's going to be living in the manor." Piper: "Do you really think he's here that much?" Phoebe: "He's like the big brother I never wanted. [Er.] I mean had. Never had."
Just then, "Keep Away From Runaround" Prue Halliwell struts into the room in drawstring pants and a "miracle" apron top that she found comfortable enough in which to sleep, and she asks the docile Ps if they've ever heard of Evan Stone, the movie star. Phoebe all but jumps up and down, exclaiming that she's "seen Red Death like five times." Prue expositions that she has a photo shoot with him that day. Phoebe blathers on about tabloid rumors about Evan. Prue shushes her, because she doesn't want to know about his private life; she just wants to take his picture. And also because Shannen Doherty wants to make a big point during her character's subplot this episode about how evil tabloids are and how they prey upon innocent celebrities. Whatever. Prue starts to leave the room to get ready for the shoot, with a babbling Phoebe in tow. Piper stops them and asks, "You don't think Leo lives here, do you?" Prue: "Yeah, of course he does." Then her toes curl and her eyes practically roll back in ecstasy as Prue-vert (tm MadSketcher) relives her moment last week seeing Leo "all wet" and naked in the shower. This causes Piper to pick up Phoebe's idea about setting "ground rules." The callous Ps leave. Piper chucks Dr. Williamson's letter into the trash.
Hospital. Dr. Williamson is pacing around a laboratory while talking to his superior on a cell phone, expositioning about the events in the "Awakened" episode. Dr. W walks past three cages containing chimpanzees. The cages are labeled "Prue," "Piper," and "Phoebe." Dr. W's boss tells him to "move on to people who are sick" because Piper Halliwell has been officially cured. Dr. W expositions some more about his belief that Piper's blood might contain "the key to unlocking a universal antibody." The boss cuts off all funding to Dr. W's project. Dr. W slams the phone down, and for the radio audience, declares, "I'm not giving up." He puts on some surgical gloves and takes some blood samples from vials drawn from each of the Halliwell sisters and puts them into the same container. Then he draws the mixed-up, Type "P" blood into a syringe and places it on a table. As Dr. W unlocks chimpanPrue's cage, the monkey gestures towards the needle and TKs it straight into Dr. W's neck. Dr. W plucks it out and throws the now-empty syringe onto the floor. The chimpanPs start shrieking and wailing about in their cages.
Credits. As noted earlier, Dan's gone this week. WOO HOO! Greg Vaughan can fulfill the rest of his full-season contractual obligation by postcard, as far as I'm concerned.
Ad touting "new" Physique products. And I was foolish enough to believe that a cure for "bad hair days" would not be found in my lifetime.
This week the establishing shots are in super fast-forward, only serving to contrast with the snail's pace of the plot that follows. Cut back to the hospital. Dr. Williamson tells the chimpanPs to BE QUIET as he bandages up his neck. His rage causes him to TK a couple of bottles of blood against the wall. We see the splatter in close-up. As Joe Bob Briggs says, "Paint the screen red!" Dr. W gapes at his new-found telekinetic ability. Just then, his boss doctor walks into the lab, blathering. Dr. W tells him to wait. The man freezes in mid-sentence. Dr. W walks around his boss, and figures out that he has the ability to cause temporal stasis also. Dr. W unfreezes him. The guy wonders what the hell is going on. Dr. W prattles on about needing