Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 4 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Is That All There Is To Utopia? Is That All There Is?
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.29.2005
Cobwebby Egyptian Tomb Of Avatar Death. Zankou wipes some of those cobwebs from the Anubis mural as a henchdemon who is neither interesting nor attractive wanders into the chamber to ask Zankou...something. I totally don't care. Except for the bit where Oded Fehr whips his right hand back to conjure a Flaming Ball Of Death, because he looks totally hot doing so. Long story short, the uninteresting and unattractive henchdemon goes kaboom when a suddenly appearing and off-screen Piper unleashes her mighty Hands of Discontent, and that's all you need to know about him. Zankou himself goes flying ass over end when Piper redirects her Hands at his back, but he recovers quickly enough to grin up at the Glamorous Ladies from the floor as they stride into the tomb to make quippy remarks. There's a lingering shot of the Ps with rather determined expressions on their faces before we drop into the final commercial break.
Back from the break, Zankou's positively delighted that the gals arrived when they did. Hee. The gals, meanwhile, are shocked and appalled to learn that both Brody and the Dolt colluded with Zankou to stop the Avatars. After some more of the twinkly Zankou banter, he retreats to a far corner of the tomb to allow a private processing summit amongst the women. The ladies debate the relative merits of allying themselves with a dark demonic force sent from the flaming maw of Hell for a bit before the Ps decide that the only way to avenge the deaths of Brody, the Dolt, and the hundreds of thousands of other unfortunates slaughtered by the Avatars is to broker a deal with Zankou. Turning to face him once more, Phoebe demands, "So what's the plan?" "The plan," Zankou croons, "is for you to make a very special potion." I just got all tingly when he said that. Woof.
Avatar Central. No Name, in a desperate and futile search for the sisters, is telekinetically flipping through a sequence of earth scenes just like Tom Cruise did in Minority Report. Well, I suppose that, technically, Tom Cruise was using extra-special Spielbergian magic gloves to flip through his CGI vignettes, but you know what I mean. "I don't understand!" No Name frets as I'm Not Candy approaches. "I just had them!" "They'll have to surface sooner or later," I'm Not Candy replies. "Got that right," the suddenly appearing Piper blares from the platform above, where she's just arrived with Phoebe, Raige, and Zankou. A posse of Avatars immediately charge the arrivals, but Piper and Zankou easily flip them across the hall with some explosive and telekinetic mojo of their own. As other Avatars hustle to take their fallen comrades' place, Raige wards them off by flashing a deadly vial of freshly concocted tendrilly Avatar doom. "What is the meaning of this?" I'm Not Candy demands. "I don't think we have to explain any of this," Piper snots back. "We're not the ones going around killing people." Well, not today, they aren't. "We only did what was necessary to maintain Utopia," No Name pleads. Raige snorts something about the "loophole" the Avatars neglected to mention. I'm Not Candy lies that it was never their intention to deceive the Halliwells; the Avatars simply gave them the world they always wanted. Besides, I'm Not Candy notes, far fewer people by far will die in their Utopia than would be slaughtered under the old "chaos" of good and evil. Phoebe calmly shoots back that, under the old system, people at least knew what they were dying for. Piper adds that, given the choice between "chaos" and Utopia, "We'll take our free will back any day." "Hear, hear," Zankou smirks. I'm Not Candy approaches to blather some more, but dude. Really. You lost. Give it up already.
Eventually, he does, and promises to use what remains of The Collective's power to "rewind time back before Utopia began." Phoebe cautiously confirms for her little group that this will result in the restoration of the Dolt. Upon receiving that confirmation, Raige excitedly asks about the Bulge. Alas, Brody must remain dead. Yes, their explanation for why he must remain dead makes absolutely no goddamned sense whatsoever, but the character long overstayed his welcome, so I'm not going to quibble. The bottom line is, the Avatars can reverse Utopia or they can revive the bulging one, but they cannot do both. Zankou, visibly uncertain of Raige's reaction to this news, eyes her uneasily as she stares down I'm Not Candy for a long moment. Finally, Raige whips her arm back to fling the vial at I'm Not Candy's head. Phoebe snatches at her wrist, however, and after a tense, teary moment, Raige drops her arm to her side. Phoebe picks her way down a couple of the platform's stairs and quietly demands, "Put the world back." I'm Not Candy silently agrees, then offers, "I'm sorry this didn't work out. For your sakes as well as ours." "Touching," Zankou snarks. "I'm gonna miss you guys." Snerk.