Episode Report Card Joe R: B+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Good Shit Lollipop
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 08.21.2005
Agrestic Elementary. Isabelle is in art class when her stomach starts gurgling a-fiercely. She raises her hand and asks for permission to use the bathroom (oh, the indignities of childhood), but the teacher tells her to wait until another boy comes back. Isabelle begs to be able to go now, and the teacher acquiesces, but Isabelle only makes it halfway across the classroom before squeaky, farty sounds tell us she's too late. Squeaky, farty sounds are never an indication of anything positive.
Botwin Estates. Lupita is doing the laundry when she comes across Silas's spray-painted underwear. This intercuts with scenes of Silas at school, unable to keep from staring at Megan, who doesn't look at him. Back home, Lupita can't get the giant blue crotch-stain out, so she tries spray-cleanser. Silas ogles Megan. Lupita tries a scrub brush. Silas ogles Megan, who finally catches him staring and flirtily approaches him with A Look and a finger-wave. Silas gets home and Lupita hands him the still-stained boxer shorts with an exasperated "I try."
Hodes House. Isabelle is lying in bed, miserable, while Dean tries to tell her that these things happen sometimes, and while it's horribly embarrassing now, it'll make for a funny story later. Not even Dean thinks that's all that comforting a thought, but he's trying at least. Isabelle, who's lying down with her back to her dad and is very well still in shock, goes, "I had to throw my underpants into the woods. They call me Shit Girl now." On the list of the many, many reasons I love Isabelle is the way she delivers those lines. She's not wailing and crying -- she just has this bemused expression, like "Shit Girl? I'm Shit Girl, now?" Over in Celia and Dean's bedroom, Celia says Isabelle got sick because she was a "little piggy," and she matter-of-factly confesses to switching out the chocolate for laxatives. She says she didn't mean for the diarrhea explosion to happen, she was just hoping for some "nice loose doodies." Dean flips out on her, as you might expect, and says she should be arrested for child abuse. Celia argues that "Shit Girl" is better than "Fat Girl," and she merely wants to shield Isabelle from the terrible and disadvantaged life of a fatty-fat-fatty. Dean grabs his blanket and pillow to go sleep elsewhere. "I hope our children survive you," is his disgusted exit line. From her bedroom, where she can hear everything, Isabelle's face screws up into a furious mask of impending vengeance. Next thing you know, she's switching out Mom's TrimSpa for Imodium, which at least puts a smile back on her face.