| By Montykins | pg 1 of 14 |
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Wuthering Heights is a classic book by Emily Bront�. So naturally, MTV has decided that it would make a good musical. And Jim Steinman (the guy behind Meat Loaf, among others) is the perfect guy to do the music. There's no angle from which this does not look like a train wreck. So let's get started!
We open on a lighthouse and some vague background music. The voice of Erika Christensen (she was the girl in Swimfan and, as the daughter in Traffic, could be considered a prototype for that accident-prone Spawn of Kiefer) tells us that, when she was a girl, her mother left her family, and Erika was raised by her father "in an old lighthouse that he spent most of his time restoring." Said lighthouse is called "The Heights," which, in its evocation of a terrible Fox series from a decade ago, tells us about the level of drama we'll be seeing.
It's raining on the lighthouse, because this is technically still a gothic romance. A young girl who I'd guess is about nine or ten years old is creeping around to see her father and brother nailing wood up over a window. I check to make sure I'm not watching the news right now, because even here on the west coast, nothing makes for good television like people in the rain nailing wood up over a window. The brother's name is "Hendrix." "Hendrix"? Oh, that's not good. The girl's name is "Cate." The father is played by John Doe of X. I can't imagine what he's doing here.
Cate VOs that "sometimes love isn't enough to hold you. Sometimes it's so strong it drives you away." That's very deep. No, wait. I meant to say that it's completely meaningless. That's the same thing, though, right? Anyway, Papa John Doe tells the kids to get in the house, and drives off in his pickup truck to get more wood. On the way, he pulls off to the side of the road and tells someone offscreen that everything's okay, and that the offscreen person should be home.
The next day. The sun is up. Hendrix (oh dear) is playing an electric guitar very badly, trying to impress Cate, who has her hands over her ears and wants him to stop. As Papa John Doe drives up, honking the truck's horn, Cate rushes out to see him. He makes the kids close their eyes, saying he's got a surprise for them. Oh boy! It's a grubby little street urchin! Hendrix likens the newcomer to a stray dog, but Cate thinks he's fine. She doesn't come out and say it, but it's clear she would like him oiled and brought to her chambers. The newcomer is named "Heath." Papa John Doe, Cate, and Heath walk off, while Hendrix stays in the frame to fume about the newcomer. By the way, the kid playing Young Heath also played Young Tucker in a recent episode of Enterprise. So he's got that going for him.
As Heath is shown around, it is made clear in a plot-point kind of way that this is the only home Cate and Hendrix have ever know. Also, it appears that Jim Steinman is the "Executive Music Producer and Concept by" guy. So it's all his fault. Cate shows Heath a big painting that her mother did, and Papa John Doe adds that Cate's mother finished it "right before she left." So is she dead or not?