Episode Report Card Pamie: C- | 1 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT The Dangers of Danielworld
By Pamie | Season 2 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.15.2002
Lorelai's brought Luke a plate of food. She asks how "the money pit" is coming. Luke points at a room and says, "That's it." She asks what's wrong. He says nothing's wrong. Then he says nobody's coming to the funeral. None of his relatives are coming. Some of them can't get out of work, a couple doesn't want to miss their kid's rugby semi-finals, others are too tired from a fishing trip. One has a sick parrot. Luke impersonates the parrot's two-word vocabulary: "Gorgeous, Petey!" Lorelai says if they don't want to come, then it wasn't worth having them. Luke says his father wanted them to come to the funeral. Lorelai says that Louie lived there a long time, so many Stars Hollow people will come to the service. She says it's probably better this way. Luke says he really hates the bird. Rory walks into the room. Lorelai asks if there's a problem with the customers. Rory says that Jackson's outside and wants to talk to her. She says he seems upset. Lorelai checks to see if Luke's okay before she heads downstairs to solve another crisis. She tells Luke to brush up on his diner talk. Rory asks where Jess is. Luke says he's probably out playing basketball. "That little punk," Rory huffs.
Lorelai takes a BLT order from a redhead at the counter. Lorelai tries the diner-speak but screws up on the "piggy-piggy" part and ends up just asking for a BLT.
Jackson is upset. Lorelai walks up to him, putting on her very expensive coat. Jackson says he was planning a tiny, inexpensive wedding with a sweet woman who wasn't disagreeing on how the wedding should be planned. Now, thanks to Emily, he can't afford his wedding. He points to where Emily and Sookie are standing near the Farmer's Market. They're measuring the entire town. Emily's tape measure is from Neiman Marcus. It's platinum with gold leaf. It cost more than Jackson's car. Jackson says he loves Sookie and wants her to have what she wants. He tells Lorelai that now they want a sixteen-piece orchestra and they expect the gazebo moved to accommodate it. It's a gazebo that's been standing there for a hundred years, but they think it should be moved to make the wedding ceremony more convenient. Lorelai says she'll take care of this. She says Sookie's been brainwashed by Emily. Rory runs by, yanking Jess by his shirt. She yells at him to "cork it." When did she leave? Who's watching the store? Why is this episode so boring?
Town Hall Meeting. People are showing up very late. Cardigan Man declares next Tuesday "Harry the Twinkle Light Man from Harry's House of Twinkle Lights" Day in honor of Harry's upcoming retirement. Jess and Luke bemoan the fruitiness of Stars Hollow. Lorelai and Rory walk in. Cardigan Man asks Lorelai if she's late again. "Yes! I hope I'm not pregnant!" she says. They sit down in the only empty seats, which are next to Luke. Cardigan Man tells Lorelai he banged the meeting in half an hour ago. "Dirty!" Lorelai scoffs. Cardigan Man says he's going to chat with Miss Patty for a second, so that Lorelai, Rory, and Luke can discuss Harry the Twinkle Light Man. Then Rory flirts with Jess for showing up at a town function. Jess flirts back. Just so you know, they don't like each other. Not one bit. Hate each other, they do. Lorelai tells Luke she's surprised to see him there. Luke says he hasn't been able to get any of the war re-enactment actors on the phone, and he figures he can trap them at the meeting. Cardigan Man pounds his gavel and calls the meeting back to order. The last item up for business is going to be about him, so he's giving Miss Patty his gavel. "Again, dirty!" Lorelai shouts. Cardigan Man tells her to stop. Miss Patty recognizes Cardigan Man. He says he has a problem with Naked Trucker. Everybody interrupts to talk about how great the vegetables are at the market. Babette says he has "sexy squash." Cardigan Man asks to see the permit. Naked Trucker shows him. Cardigan Man says that this isn't a proper permit, as this is a "Cart, Kiosk, Cart/Kiosk" permit. There's a lengthy bit about why Cardigan Man has to say those two words twice, but I'll spare you. The DP is no Capra, you know what I'm sayin'? Cardigan Man says that this market is set up on tables and nothing that has wheels, so it's not a cart, nor a kiosk, nor a cart/kiosk hybrid store, and therefore the permit isn't valid. Babette looks right at us, raises her left hand as a "shield," points at it, and warbles, "He's losin' his marbles!" Another Townie whose name I've forgotten poorly delivers the line, "It's just a personal vendetta!" and I wonder if he's somebody's friend. Miss Patty asks to end the meeting. Cardigan Man tells the troubadour that Cardigan Man stood by him when Naked Trucker wanted to be the town troubadour. The troubadour says that Cardigan Man really made him wait and squirm to become town troubadour. He even wrote a song about it. He hums a few bars. Rory and Lorelai offer advice on the chorus. "Taylor left me twistin'/ He sent my eyes a-mistin'!" Lorelai says he should do more about the sweater. It's a cardigan. Close enough shout-out. Miss Patty says she's going to wrap this up. Cardigan Man calls Naked Trucker a "Long-Haired Freak" a few times. Miss Patty calls for a vote and adjourns the meeting. Rory tells Jess he's got some cleaning to do at the diner. Where's your boyfriend, Rory? Don't you have some homework to do?