Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Losers
By Gwen | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.15.2000
Simon's at home, leaving a message on Matt's answering machine. RevCam comes downstairs and offers to drive Simon and Lulu to the movie. Simon gets all pissy and refuses. He's wearing a leather blazer, which I find amusing. He calls Matt and gets the answering machine again.
Mary steps outside the pizza parlor to tell Frankie that some regular customers are asking for her. Mary and Frankie are both wearing the Pete's Pizza uniform top, but Frankie has customized hers by cutting off the stomach-covering half of it. She's a bad girl, you see. She has no minister to staple her clothes. She says she'll just finish up her cigarette. She offers Mary a drag. At least she's polite. She says she started smoking when she was twelve, then quit while pregnant, then resumed the habit after "popping out" her baby Mercy. Frankie's mom is "good with babies -- it's teenagers she can't handle." Frankie hands Mary her cigarette and gets back to work. Mary stares at the cigarette, sorely tempted by smoky Lucifer. Then she chucks it as the melancholy guitar looks on.
Annie makes it to Gypsy Café, where her professor orders a bottle of wine. He takes her huge stack of books, putting them aside. Annie nervously tells him that she might need to refer to her notes. "No problem," says Professor Smooth. "Outside of Italy, this is the best place to get lasagna." In Glenoak? No shit? Annie says she already ate, but he already ordered. He asks how many kids she has. When she tells him seven, I wait for his eyeballs to pop out and roll onto the floor, because that's what happens sometimes when I tell people I have three kids. Instead he asks, "You plan to stop there?" Annie says, "Maybe. Wanna give me a Pap smear, since you're so interested in my womb?" No, she says, "Well, our dining-room table seats twelve, so who knows?" which was almost as good. The professor cracks up and says, "What a woman." I'm waiting for him to ask, "And do your loins provide many strong boys to honor your husband?" but the scene ends instead.
RevCam enjoys fried food and beer at the pool hall. Behind him, four pool-playing women bleat, "Reverend Cammdennn!" Watch out, Eric! It's the sultry siren song of sin! He turns and smiles in a politely confused way. "Don't you recognize us outside of church?" asks one of the women, dressed in a satiny shirt. Two of the others are wearing sleeveless tops that would also require some sort of specialty undergarment. RevCam eventually comes up with their names and greets them. They ask him to join their game, since the oldest, least scantily clad woman has to leave. He accepts the offer and shows off his stoopid fresh pool skillz. The bartender can't stop raising his eyebrows.