Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Vagina Mold, Truth Be Told
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 03.01.2012
After the kids eat breakfast, JWOWW enlists Sammi and Deena to join her at the sex shop to prepare for her one-year anniversary date with Roger. She explains, "Nothing says 'romance' like Clone-a-Pussy and handcuffs." Can't argue with that!
Deena is likewise excited for her date with Joey, but JWOWW and Sammi are skeptical about him. Deena thinks they're raining on her parade. Plus, if she doesn't get some action soon, while JWOWW is making a mold of her vagina for Roger, Deena's vagina will actually be molding.
Meanwhile, Sitch, Snooki, and Ronnie are at the Shore Store. In an odd turnabout, Sitch actually works. Standing behind the counter, yelling like a carnival barker and tossing around T-shirts, he proves that, when he puts a single ounce of effort into anything, he can really be on his game -- though when he classifies his work as being of "mythical proportions," that might be stretching it. For Snooki's part, she continues to be a Meatball-shaped lump, eating takeout, talking about how she's going to bang Jionni later, and actually refusing to work when Danny asks. Hey, someone's got to balance out Sitch's uncharacteristic can-do spirit.
Elsewhere, Pauly and Vinny head out to shoot pool and bemoan the lack of single people in the house. Pauly gripes about JWOWW taking over the Smush Room and decorating it all classy for her anniversary (how dare she!). "I feel like I need to be in a relationship in this house." Vinny: "That's why we're in a relationship."
Shore Store. When Snooki and Ronnie go take a break, Sitch calls The Unit to coordinate their ambush on Jionni that night. Sitch knows the summer is winding down, so it's now or never. He mixes metaphors, talking about chess pieces and how Snooki needs to "take her medicine" (is that what the kids are calling it these days?). Mostly, he wants to prove that he's not a liar. Scheming pain and the ass and genuinely horrible person? Yes. Liar? No!
Back home, Pauly and Vinny decide to retaliate against the couples by removing the bed from the Smush Room. Sammi stumbles upon this scene and knows that JWOWW is going to be pissed that the guys are trying to throw shade on her night. Vinny tells Sammi menacingly, "Don't say a word, or I'll fuckin' kill you!" Then he and Pauly throw a blanket haphazardly over the mattress to "hide it." Clever, guys. They'll never find it now!
JWOWW heads into the Smush Room to set up and notices that it's bed-less. Sammi immediately tells her where it is. JWOWW threatens, "Whoever did this is going to get it back tenfold." Then she heads to Pauly and Vinny's room to ask them about and get help but laugh at the looks of unbridled mischievous glee in their eyes. She singlehandedly puts the bed back in place, then sets about decorating the room "Jersey-style -- with roses petals and bondage equipment." Also, a towel, a tube of toothpaste, Old Spice deodorant, hair gel, a protein bar, a bottle of Powerade, and two dinky little tea lights. The best part is that she doesn't even bother cleaning up all the dirty T-shirts and other refuse that the guys' tricks have left on the floor. Full service romance!