Episode Report Card Kim: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Happy Birthday, Baby!
By Kim | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.21.2003
Jess also starts to leave. Luke asks where he's going, and Jess says he's going to school. Man, these people get up early. I don't know what time Jess's school starts, but my high school started at like 7:45 AM. And Jess is already up and worked a shift at the diner. Anyway, Luke walks outside and watches Jess walk across the street to the school and then, just before entering, ducks aside and runs over to his car and takes off. I just want to say a word about the whole Jess-skipping-school thing. My mom was the attendance officer at my school, so I know about the procedures and such, and I also grew up in a small town like Stars Hollow. There is no way that Jess would get away with missing this much school. First, the school would notify Luke. Second, people would see Jess driving to work. They'd see his car in the Wal-Mart parking lot. They'd report it back to Luke over breakfast in the diner. It is impossible to get away with anything in small towns, because everyone not only knows where you are supposed to be, but they know whom you are dating and what car you drive. I'm just saying.
Madeleine got into Mills College, which Louise calls "the one where all those girls with bad hair cried because they were going to let boys in." It's the only school that accepted Madeleine, because it was her "fallback" school, and Louise says Madeleine is going to "fall back into some mama's loving arms." See, because women's schools are full of lesbians. Like prison. Louise has decided to go to Tulane. Paris comes back to school. Paris got her nose pierced when Rory told her to have fun. Paris was allergic. Paris has a big bandage on her nose. Ha! Ha?
Rory's apology is interrupted when her cell phone rings. It's Jon Polito, maker of the giant pizza. He's concerned about the size of the pizza and wants to discuss putting in a second crust, "like a retaining wall," to hold all of the toppings. Rory asks if they could just make the crust thicker. Jon Polito says that might work and promises to get back to her. Rory hangs up in time to hear Paris yelling at some guy who offered her ten dollars to look at her nose. She wants twenty dollars, and tells Rory she's "just making lemonade here." So where is Paris going to go to college? Enough with the funny nose bit.
Lorelai answers the knock at her door, but not before noticing that Rory spelled out "Happy Birthday Lorelai" in Mallomars on the kitchen table. It's Luke and his toolbox. That's not a euphemism. Although it could be. Lorelai asks where his French maid outfit is, and Luke says he's got it on under the plaid. Lorelai asks, "What else is new?" Luke notices the cookies on the table, as Lorelai eats one. Lorelai hands him his fix-it list, and the first item is the garbage disposal. Luke pulls a spoon out of it and asks why she couldn't just pull the spoon out herself. Lorelai ignores him and asks if he wants to start upstairs or down, while at the same time she opens a box of cookies and replaces the one from the table that she ate earlier. Luke is confounded by her methods, and wonders why she didn't just eat a cookie out of the box in the first place. Lorelai has a convoluted explanation, which drives Luke crazy as usual, so he just looks at his list and reveals a startling familiarity with the layout of Lorelai's house. Luke says he can't put up the towel rack until later, because he didn't bring his drill. Lorelai chuckles and Luke says, "Dirty. Yes, I know." Lorelai says she'll be around tomorrow, but Luke says he's having lunch with Nicole's parents. Lorelai is all, "Really," with about ten shades of meaning. Luke tries to play it off as no big deal, since he and Nicole have "been seeing each other fairly regular." Lorelai thinks it's great and so does Luke. He gets up to start his task list, but pauses to tell Lorelai she was right about Jess skipping school. Luke explains that he followed Jess to Wal-Mart that morning. Lorelai asks what Luke is going to do, and Luke says he'll remind Jess about their agreement whereby Jess could stay there as long as he went to school and graduated. Couldn't Luke just kick Jess out? That would make me a lot happier. And it's all about my needs. After Luke leaves, Lorelai eats another cookie from the table.