Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Phantom of the Spy Opera
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.06.2002
Then we're listening as Sydney tells someone about a memory of her father that involves a camping trip, a broken leg, and him picking her up and carrying her miles back to the car. She remembers thinking that he was the strongest man in the world. By the way, as this trip down camping memory lane unfolds, we watch as Sydney wakes, sits up, reveals that she wears fluffy pajamas to bed (which is supposed to show us that she may be an ass-kicking international double agent, but she's still just a wittle girl at heart), and picks up her phone, ostensibly making a call to her Platonic-But-Heterosexual Boyfriend.
Subbasement Of Dreams And Desires. Sydney continues telling her Strong Spy Daddy story to an attentive and horny Agent Amorous. Oh, come on! Of course he's horny! Tell me something -- if one of your coworkers called you up in the middle of the night and asked you to meet them at some bizarre location so they could share sob stories about their fractured family life with you, would you go? Hell no! You'd tell them to shove a couple of Xanax down their gullet and shut the fuck up. But if you had a hot thang for the aforementioned coworker, you'd leap out of bed, slap some smelly stuff all over your body, grab your keys, and skeedaddle on over to The Subbasement Of Dreams And Desires. Duh.
Yeah, so, Syd's all concerned that the search for her mother scares her father to death. Agent Amorous is all, dude, your mom killed my dad, okay? Like, I want you and all but, uh, I could really give a shit about your eternal quest for Mommy Love. Now kiss me. Syd asks Agent Amorous if he can help her get every last bit of information that the CIA has on Spy Mommy. Agent Amorous carves a few more grooves into his forehead and tells Syd that he can't help her out there, because all information on her mother's been strictly classified. Syd keeps pushing him to help her. Vaughn tells her that he'll help her if she agrees to play a few rounds of strip poker with him. Syd tells him to keep his rocket in his pocket and instead pays a visit to Uncle Arvin.
Uncle Arvin's House Of Hidden Truths And Sick Spouses. Uncle Arvin tells Sydney that she's been avoiding him. Sydney blah-blahs about her mother being alive and how she wants Uncle Arvin to help her find Spy Mommy. Uncle Arvin pours them a couple of glasses of what is either water or chilled Grey Goose. Speaking of Grey Goose…
Okay, uh, so Uncle Arvin sort of blah-blahs about how Spy Daddy spent six months in seclusion at a federal prison because he was suspected of being in cahoots with Spy Mommy. This is news to Sydney, but then, isn't everything? Spy Daddy got out of prison and started drinking heavily. Because of Spy Daddy's behavior, Uncle Arvin was under direct orders not to let him know that Spy Mommy was alive and well and enjoying big bowls of borscht. Unfortunately, this also meant that Uncle Arvin had to lie to Sydney as well.