Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Douglas Adams Had No Idea
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.11.2005
Later -- presumably after Beaver's carried out her request -- Veronica takes a screwdriver to the Shuffle. Careful, Veronica. You don't want to have to make a service call to Apple. Even an 09er would flinch at that expense.
Veronica enters an auto shop, presumably the one Curly worked at. Hot sports cars are all over the place, and VMVO notes that Curly couldn't have been interested in her for her car. Heh. A guy asks her if she's there for service, but she puts on a sad voice and says she's Curly's niece, and that she called earlier. She gives her real name and asks if Curly ever mentioned her, but the answer is no. The guy does, however, hand over a box full of Curly's personal possessions. Inside, Veronica she finds some framed autographed photographs -- Curly with a woman who may have some claim to fame even though Veronica calls her a "bimbo"; Curly with a sports star; and Curly with a movie star. I'll tell you that all the pictures were taken in front of sports cars. I'll also tell you that the aforementioned movie star is Haaron Echolls. I figured I should give you all the information and let you sort out what's important. In that vein, I'll tell you that they've tried to make Haaron look more '80s by giving him Limahl's hair and soaking it with a hose. (I guess if it made me think of that reference, it sort of worked.) The message on the photo reads, "All these years still on 'The Long Haul.' Always your pal, Aaron Echolls." Veronica breathes us into a commercial break.
Veronica and Duncan, holding hands, enter FBLA as VMVO tells us she's the "key witness" in Haaron's murder trial. Man, they could have done a whole season just on coverage of that. It can't just have been me who spent countless hours in the '90s watching Court TV's coverage of the Menendez brothers' murder trial. (Of course, that could be because I once met Lyle Menendez. Brrrr.) Duncan notices Veronica's somewhat glazed expression and asks what's on her mind. Veronica: "Just...fine European automobiles." Heh. Logan, with showy exasperation, moves over to allow Duncan and Veronica to sit together, although he might just have wanted to avoid the schmoopy-eyed crossfire. The bald man from the first scene is apparently going to be the regular teacher, and he enthusiastically greets the class by saying that they're worth a million dollars. Logan: "What? You mean I've lost money? Heads will roll." Heh. The teacher tells them that some of them have played his stock market game before: they each will control a virtual portfolio, which they can manage however they want -- he looks at Dick -- "as long as it's legal." Dick protests that dog racing is legal, but the teacher counters that it's hardly lucrative. Well, if you hire the winners out for stud, you could probably make some money, but somehow I don't see Dick going to a lot of trouble to see that anyone besides him gets laid. The teacher goes on to say that whoever has the portfolio with the highest value at the end of the year will win a plaque "and all attendant bragging rights." The class gives a mixture of laughter and "whoop-te-do" noises, so the teacher adds that there will be a cash prize for the student who can beat the "SNP" average. Duncan understandably thinks he's referring to Standard and Poor's, but he actually is referring to his own average, since his name is Samuel Nelson Pope. Beaver asks what he invested in, and he says that he's more conservative than his students, since he uses his model for his own 401K. Logan asks how much real money he made, and the answer is enough to retire in nine months. From the chart, which says that the percentage of the value of Pope's portfolio of Casablancas stock in 2003-4 was 10%, but the next year it was up to 45%, Little Dick concludes that his dad's company grew 35% in a year. For those of you satisfied to take Little Dick's word for it, skip the next paragraph.