Episode Report Card Sara M: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It Ain't Over Til The Fat Man Cries
By Sara M | Season 19 | Episode 16 | Aired on 12.20.2009
Back from the break, we get another montage of Li'l Russell's "greatest" moments, as if this entire season wasn't a montage of Li'l Russell as it was. Oh, and he's still freaking crying. I don't feel sorry for him at all. Remember how much glee he took in destroying everyone else's chance to win a million dollars? Well, now he knows how they felt. And they all took the loss a lot better than he did. Probst asks Natalie what her decision is regarding Li'l Russell's stupid offer to give her $10,000 for the "sole Survivor" title that doesn't really exist in the first place. "I'm gonna decline," Natalie says. HA! But it gets better! Li'l Russell mutters something about upping the price to $100,000 and she snaps "no, it's priceless. You have to get the majority of the votes." Probst cuts her off here to add his own two cents that Natalie is crazy to turn down $100,000 and Li'l Russell is crazy to offer it at all. Oh please. Li'l Russell would never have given her that money. He probably would have taken the meaningless non-existent title and then laughed at her for being stupid enough to give it to him in follow-up interviews. Also, Natalie has a million dollars, so Li'l Russell's $10,000 and $100,000 are pittances to her. What I like about this is that it shows that Natalie really wasn't the pushover we thought she was -- she just pretended to be one in order to win the game. As soon as she didn't have to say yes to Li'l Russell all the time, she didn't. Also, Li'l Russell is still crying.
Probst asks him how the people on the streets reacted to him as the season went on. Li'l Russell says they started off hating him and that he might have been "the most hated of all times." Uh, no. Sorry again, Li'l Russell. There have been many people even more deserving of our hatred on the show. Now, he says, "it seems like millions of people love me." They don't love you, Li'l Russell. They love the fictional person the editors created that they only had to spend an hour a week with. "I don't know how that happened, but it happened," he says. I know how it happened. As soon as they realized that they had to build their entire season around Li'l Russell, they stopped showing him doing things like lying that he was a victim of Hurricane Katrina and started showing him in a much more positive light. Probst asks how kids react to Li'l Russell, like anyone cares what the kids think. This isn't the freaking Disney Channel, Probst. It's CBS. Stop talking about children, please. Li'l Russell says he has two twin girls in fourth grade. Someone in the audience cheers at this, like, way to sound really excited about little girls, guy. Li'l Russell claims that his daughters' entire school loves him. Well, they probably like Hannah Montana, too. And we already heard about how much the kids love Shambo. So all that really tells me is that children have no taste.