Episode Report Card Aaron: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Speaker For The Dead
By Aaron | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 03.16.2002
At a restaurant somewhere, a casually dressed David and Nate arrive for the Independent Funeral Directors lunch. The committee consists of such memorable characters as Stan The Stutterer, Bobo The Old Guy Who Spits And Swears A Lot, and Jack The Bad Joke Guy. Upon hearing that Nate has passed the funeral director's exam, Jack The Bad Joke Guy lives up to his name with a crack about getting a "license to operate a moving funeral." After everyone sits down, the conversation quickly turns to Kroehner and their seedy business practices. "Fucking Kroehner," exclaims Bobo. "Those cocksuckers!" Then he turns to David, apologizes, and amends that to "Those cunts!" Heh. Also, hmm. I'm surprised that MS Word doesn't spell-check "cocksucker" properly. I guess I don't read enough porn. Anyway, Bobo tells a story about how he got five bodies from a car crash, but they wouldn't all fit into his freezer, so the health inspector busted him at Kroehner's request. "I will ram a plastic screw up my ass before I give into those fucks," spits Bobo, before again apologizing to the only gay man at the table. A desperate David wonders where the waitress is. Nate, however, sees the chance to give a rant of his own. "All [Kroehner] care[s] about is money," he shouts, "and it's not just our industry, it's everywhere! When corporations try to squeeze out all the competitors, the further management gets from labor, the more alienation there is in the workplace, and the more meaningless our lives become! The proletariat must rise up against their capitalist dog-lackey bourgeois oppressors! Fight the man! Religion is the opiate of the masses! Make love, not war! Four legs good, two legs bad! Acid is groovy, kill the pigs! Hell no, we won't go!" Stan, Jack, and Bobo love what they're hearing, but David (who fails to add, "We're here, we're queer, get used to it!") is not impressed. Neither am I, since I know this whole thing is designed just to set up Nate's proto-hippie background in advance of next week's visit to Seattle.
A quick note here: As mentioned in the recaplet, I actually lost my virginity to a girl named Bobo. That's a true story. I swear. Hi, Deborah! And while the lovely Miss Bobo was prone to swearing quite frequently (I somehow seem to have that effect on women), I've decided stay away from making any jokes about spitting as opposed to swallowing. I also won't tell you if we ever tried that plastic screw thing. Suffice it to say that the mere mention of the word "Bobo" fills me with both a sense of nostalgic warmth, and an almost uncontrollable urge to check if my parents are in the next room.