Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 7 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT All The Umbrellas In London
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 13 | Aired on 06.08.2006
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.The Doctor and Jack TARDIS into the Dalek ship to rescue Rose. Inside, they meet the God Emperor of Dalek, whose ship went bouncing through time, much like the prior example of his race that we've met. This one didn't get caught in Utah, though: he worked behind the scenes for centuries on Earth, manufacturing new Daleks from the Gamestation players' DNA. These new models come equipped with a really lame religion and intense fear of the Doctor, and their plan is to level Earth to make a new Heaven for themselves. Back on Gamestation, Captain Jack puts together an impromptu army to fight the Dalek incursion while the Doctor readies a "Delta wave" to take out the Dalek army and, possibly, Earth herself. Where's Rose? Tricked by the Doctor and sent home in the TARDIS, with only a sweet hologram of the Doctor to keep her company (and the memory of the makeout party the three of them shared just as everything was going to hell). It's heartbreaking, even with the kissing. Back on Earth with Mickey and Jackie, the Bad Wolves accrete, until Rose finally notices, and decides that they constitute a connection between herself now and the Doctor then. Captain Jack, Lynda with a "Y", and the rest of Gamestation die horribly, and the Doctor loses a staring contest with God, admitting that he can't destroy Earth in order to save it. In 2005, Mickey, Jackie, and the memory of Pete Tyler conspire to help Rose open the heart of the TARDIS, with whom Rose makes fast and godlike friends. It is fucking awesome. Returning to Gamestation full of light and glory, Rose takes the Daleks out with a quickness. Still wearing her Little Red Hoodie, Rose admits to being the Bad Wolf, scatters the message to herself across timespace, resurrects Jack, and gets a crazy headache and starts losing it. The Doctor, realizing immediately that she's not a suitable conduit for, you know, everything ever, kisses the time vortex right out of her and into himself before sending it back through the TARDIS. Also awesome. Heading back into time with no memory of how she was God for a few minutes, nor apparently that a weeping Captain Jack has now been stranded in the remains of the Gamestation, Rose notices that the Doctor's acting a little strange. The whole time and space salad has caused the Doctor to break down on the cellular level, which is not awesome. The Doctor gives Rose, and us, a pretty amazing goodbye, and then dies...returning immediately as Barty Crouch, Jr. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Last week, Rose died. That was sad. And the Doctor was sad, and that was hard. But then she wasn't really dead -- just hanging out with Daleks waving their things at her, and that was bad. But then the Doctor said, "I'm coming to get you," and that was fantastic.
So the Doctor does. Inside the Dalek ship, the Daleks are predictably freaking out. It's always the whole Beanie Baby frenzy with those guys. A Dalek shouts to Rose, "You know the Doctor! You understand him! You will predict his actions!" Rose says that in fact, other than what he just told them, which was to basically fuck off, that she doesn't have any inside scoop, but that they, you know, probably should. The Daleks go wild, all, "Predict! Predict! Predict!" They want the information and they think that she's got it. One of them notices the TARDIS is on its way, "in flight," which is a funny way to describe the TARDIS doing anything, and they launch missiles. Rose wigs because it's just the TARDIS. No defenses; just a working connection to the infinite and a phone that doesn't talk to anything. "You'll kill him!" Rose yells, which is an interesting thing for her to be worried about, considering she's right now on the Black Freighter her own self. "You have predicted correctly," says one of them. We'll find out why in a second, but the whole thing sounds really off: aren't the Daleks usually pretty decisive? Like they can't even float around without making these big declaratives: "Elevate! Exterminate!" But now they just want to know what's going to happen next.
Missiles come shooting at the TARDIS, which is indeed flying through space, as Jack and the Doctor do that random made-up sci-fi TARDISing with buttons and levers and whatever. Everything's shaking. The missiles actually connect, but Captain Jack confirms that they've got a "fully functional forcefield" happening...thanks to MI-5 Margaret's surfboard! That is awesome!
TARDIS goes "vworp, vworp." I mean, of course it really doesn't, but we'll pretend that is the sound it makes, because that's what we've been doing for forty years. Rose watches as the TARDIS and the Doctor take for-freaking-ever to materialize. The Doctor shouts at Rose to hit the deck, and the Daleks go all "Exterminate," and Jack uses the Defabricator gun he made to bounce the lasers back at them. One of them dies screaming, and there's smoke all over, and Rose gets kind of wiggly: "You did it!" The Doctor grabs her without talking. She says that she never doubted him, and he admits that he really kinda did. The Doctor has not seen this show, I guess. Well, last week, the Doctor saw Rose die and also realized he'd ruined Earth permanently, so I guess he's got reason to worry things aren't going to go swimmingly. I'm not in the habit of doubting him. Jack comes running up and demands a hug from Rose, but jokes that he was talking about the Doctor. Jack and Rose embrace sweetly, and Jack notes that the big Defabricator gun -- which people kept not shooting last week -- only had the one shot in it. The Doctor kneels to check out the fallen Dalek with his screwdriver, and outside the TARDIS there's a creepy voice that says, "Patience, my brethren." That'll be God, I think.
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