Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Mac's Daddy...
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.03.2005
Keith and Officer Fuckface walk into a shop with a bunch of guitars hanging from the ceiling and some hard guitar playing live from somewhere in the store. ["Turn that racket down! You woke me up, you cotton-pickin' whipper-snappers!" -- Geezer CB] Keith's like, "Hellooo, Cleveland!" I think there were better lines available, such as pointing to one of the guitars and saying it couldn't be played. But Keith's referencing This Is Spinal Tap at all gains him about fifty cool points with me. Fuckface hasn't seen the movie, which isn't a surprise. Certain people give off the impression that they were never kids, and Fuckface is at the top of that heap, held there by the enormous stick up his ass. Anyway, the two of them find three guys conducting a jam session, and eventually one of the guys notices them. He's slow to respond, though, prompting Keith to tell Fuckface, "He's waiting for you to throw your panties." Hee. It's funny because it's Fuckface. Anyway, the guy comes out of the studio. He's very porcine, which can be surprisingly convenient from a casting point of view, since he played a pig-turned-man on Charmed. Keith manages to get the guy to focus, which isn't easy. Next time, try bringing a big bucket of slop. You can dump the leftovers over Fuckface's head while you're at it. Keith shows Trufflehunter the guitar string and asks if there's anything unusual about it. Trufflehunter tells them it's a very special string ordered only by one customer, "Devil Dave." Fuckface buys it hook, line, and sinker, but it turns out Devil Dave is some loser-looking guy sitting in the store, and there's absolutely nothing special about the string. I guess you could say Trufflehunter "strung them along."
["That's it! I'm outta here!" -- Geezer CB] ["Me too!" -- Kid CB]
Whew -- I wasn't sure that would work. Anyway, Trufflehunter is a total dick, first laughing at Keith and Fuckface, and then yelling, "I think guitar players are a little too busy nailin' women to strangle 'em!" The words "Or so I'm told" cry at having been cut in the final edit. Fuckface counters that losers and wannabes in Neptune have plenty of time on their hands: "Strappin' on a guitar. Does it get rid of feelings of inadequacy?" Trufflehunter: "Does strappin' on a gun?" Well, these two certainly have each other's number. Now if they'd only call each other and leave the rest of us the hell out of it.
Veronica's on Mac's doorstep, and we know whose house it is because of the Beetle in the driveway. Very nice. She knocks, and Mac lets her in. There are Christmas decorations all over. Sigh. On the way to Mac's room, a little boy, who just happens to be BLOND, shoots a toy gun at her, and she yells at him. They go inter her room, which has a lot of posters of artwork and Tennessee Williams plays, because Mac is Deep. Her BLONDE mother barges in with a tray of refreshments and genially greets Veronica, saying that she wasn't sure if she's a normal eater "or one of those freakball vegans like [Mac]." Okay, first off, I get that from her own point of view, Mac is Deep and Vegan and totally unlike her parents. That's fine from the standpoint of characterization, and it's also fine that she doesn't appreciate her parents' good qualities, even though it's evident in the episode that they love her and aren't really that weird or embarrassing. She's a teenager -- she's going to think her parents are embarrassing. Her name isn't "Gilmore," after all, and thank God for that. But the problem I have with this character now is that if she's so Deep and Sensitive, how does she justify profiting from human misery the way she has? I mean, the levels of rationalization required there are commensurate with the term "compassionate conservative." But if there's one concept I understand less than a Republican woman or a Republican gay man, it's a Republican vegan. Also, if the worst thing Mac's mom ever does is refer to vegans as "freakballs," well..I'm not saying I agree with her, but it doesn't make her a horrible person in my judgment. In fact, hon, just between you and me, you might want to get used to that opinion. Anyway, Mac notes that the news must be big for Veronica to have come in person, and at Veronica's hesitant throat-clearing, Willows "Suspense effectively built." Veronica sits down and recommends that Mac forget about the findings and go on with her life, but then we wouldn't have a B plot, so the answer is no. Mac asks if she's adopted, and says it would explain a lot if she were. Veronica lays out the baby-switching, and tells her that a girl born the day after she was went home with her real parents. Dawning horror on her face, Mac blurts, "I was switched at birth...with [Makeup, Makeup, Makeup!]?" Yes, yes you were. How do you like them pesticide-free apples?