Episode Report Card Couch Baron: C+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT See No Evil
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Aired on 08.30.1998
Library. Keller and Schillinger meet up and congratulate themselves on the success of their plan. Schillinger opines that Beecher is on the ledge, and Keller suggests they push him off. Lovely.
Metzger tells Beecher that he looks like "warmed-over shit." I guess he saw Schillinger last year, then. Beecher says it's been a rough couple of days, and Metzger tells him a workout will do him good. Beecher, don't go to the gym alone! You were around when Keane got set up! He doesn't listen, and when he enters, he sees his worst nightmare: Keller and Schillinger, the latter of whom gives him a jaunty wave and smile. Beecher screams as he realizes the full extent of the betrayal, and charges Keller, but Metzger pulls him back into a headlock. Keller rubs exposition into Beecher's wounds as he explains that he did time with Schillinger elsewhere, and Schillinger saved his seventeen-year-old ass from someone who wanted him to be his prag. I feel compelled to point out that if Keller was doing hard (hee) time at seventeen, he must have been a bad, bad boy indeed. Keller kisses Schillinger on the cheek, and Schillinger, by the way, hasn't for a second lost that shit-eating grin. Hee. "Shit-eating grin" -- how ironically appropriate. Keller delivers the coup de grace by telling Beecher he never loved him, and then has Metzger let Beecher go. Beecher rams Keller in the midriff, knocking him down, but Keller efficiently wraps his legs around Beecher's neck, and before you know it, he's broken Beecher's right wrist. The left one soon meets the same fate. Insert your own "breaking up is hard to do" joke here. Now it's Schillinger's turn, as Metzger holds one of Beecher's feet in place. With a yell, Schillinger brings a shitkicker down on Beecher's ankle, breaking it. Boy, Schillinger, you're having yourself one hell of a righteous episode, aren't you?
And, since the scene is over, it's time for me to expose yet another plot hole, which I partially touched on before: Two heinous attacks happened on Metzger's watch, and both involved Schillinger and both victims were left alive. So you'd think, when the victims were able, they'd reveal what happened, right? I certainly can't think of a reason for either Sippel or Beecher to protect Metzger or Schillinger. Now, without Keller testifying against him (and yes, I know that's just what happens in the next episode), I don't think Schillinger could be punished, but at least he'd be interrogated, and in Metzger's case, he'd be fired, or at the very least demoted. These things should be mentioned in this episode. You know, Tom, I keep telling you what it's going to take for me to stop pointing out these glaring omissions, and yet all you've given me is a quivering Cyril with his hands over his privates. That doesn't exactly, uh, measure up.