Episode Report Card Erin: A | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Papa, can you hear me? No, seriously. PAPA?
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 05.03.2005
Makeup Mirror of Kind of Skeeved-Out Daughters. Syd's sitting at a makeup table, looking at herself in the mirror, totally freaked that she's dressed to resemble her mother. Jennifer Garner doesn't really look like Lena Olin at all, but then neither do Isabella Rossellini or Sonia Braga, so, really, who gives a damn? Vaughn enters and shows Syd a picture of the little girl they've hired to play Syd as a child. He lamely attempts to inject some humor into the situation, but Syd's too squicked out about what she's going to do to laugh along with him. "I don't know how I'm gonna do this," she says. "Well, you know," says Vaughn, putting his hands on her shoulders, "it's not too late. We can always have Weiss dress up as Irina. I'm sure he'd make a great housewife." Heh. I'm sure he would, too. And I love you, Vaughn. Call me.
Syd manages a smile and says that she doesn't remember her parents all that well from when she was a child. She says her dad wasn't around much, being away on business all the time, and her mom…well, her mom left when she was six and she has no recollection of how her parents were when they were together. Syd honestly doesn't know how she's going to do this. Vaughn just tells her that it's an alias, just like all the others, and all she has to do is trust her training and follow her dad's cues. "Besides," he says jocularly, "I've got snipers everywhere if he starts to get inappropriate." Okay, dude? Funny. To us. In the audience. But in the twisted world that you live in, when your girlfriend is going to PRETEND TO BE HER OWN MOTHER, slinging a joke about "inappropriate" behavior is just…it's not gonna fly, homie. And, ew. Just for the record. Syd kind of just groans at this, but doesn't have time to actually stab Vaughn in the eyeball with her eyebrow pencil, because Nadia shows up and says they're ready for her.
Syd heads into the Faux House of Bristow after Vaughn gives her a short "you can do this" speech. Once inside, she's stunned. It's her house, circa 1981. Sloane turns the corner and goes, "Oh my god." It's clear that Sydney-as-Laura is supposed to be uncanny, even though it kind of isn't. Syd can't believe this is her old house. Sloane says it should be sufficient, provided Jack doesn't go looking for his Playboys underneath the china cabinet or anything. He sees a green bowl out of place and goes to move it. That's when he realizes that it's supposed to be the bowl that he and Emily gave Jack and Laura as a housewarming gift. "It belongs on the coffee table," says Sydney, eager to get this whole thing over with. "That's right," smugs Sloane, moving over to put it in the right place. Like, way to act like this place is yours, Sloane. Of course, for all we know, he could have been paying regular, erm, "visits" to Laura/Irina and therefore would know every nook and cranny of the place.