Episode Report Card Sara M: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Laid
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.19.2004
"Does that include you?" Simon asks Annie. Happy to have a distraction from the children who actually need her, Annie stands up and says it includes everyone, and that they can put the summer and last night and this morning behind them and talk about it. Hey Mommy Dumb-ass, maybe your whole "let's put this behind us" plan isn't so effective when your son dealing with the fact that HE RAN OVER AND KILLED A KID. Maybe instead of forgetting about that and running away from home, he should, like, oh, I don't know, deal with it? Annie preaches about the importance of respect, although respect certainly wasn't important when RevCam scoffed at Simon being considered a "sir" last night, was it?
Simon comes downstairs with his guitar and some bags and announces that he's going back to school early to get a job. "Go ahead," says RevCam, a.k.a. Giant Asshole Supreme. Lucy comes in and preemptively yells at her father for thinking she's pretty but not good enough to take over Chandler's job. Hey, Lucy, he never said anything about you being "pretty." He said you "look...nice," and there was a pause between the two words that indicates that he was trying to find a word to say that wasn't "ugly." So shut up. Also, maybe you should give him more than ONE NIGHT to make his decision. Patience is always a good character trait in a prospective employee. Lucy says she's going to find a job at some church even if it's not his. RevCam asks her if she'd like to start a "new kind" of Sunday School class at the church. What kind? RevCam tells Lucy that she's the "perfect person" to teach a class about abstinence. Lucy looks at her belly and asks if he's serious. He is, and he says he really needs her. Because she and Matt are the only children he has control over anymore, and he wants to tighten those reins. Before Lucy can make up her mind, Simon rushes back in the house, asking where his car is. Lucy says that Matt took the car, which is actually his car, to drop Ruthie off at school. Can't she ever take the damn bus? Simon had to. RevCam says that when the car comes back, Simon still can't drive it, since RevCam stopped paying for Simon's insurance. Simon starts to get mad, and Lucy starts in with something about older sister advice. "Butt out," Simon tells her. "Stay out of my apartment," says Lucy, and then agrees to teach her dad's little abstinence class. Lesson #1: make sure you're so unappealing that even a high-school boy would turn down the opportunity to have sex with you. Lesson #2: make some guy you just met agree to marry you before you're twenty. I'm sure her students will learn a lot and go on to lead miserable lives. Simon informs Lucy that RevCam is only starting this class to compete with Georgia's dad's class. Lucy is almost angry, but RevCam says some placating crap about Lucy being up to the challenge and she smiles and leaves, basking in the glow of being The Good Child.