Episode Report Card Demian: C- | 2 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT The Hardy Boys Should Start Screening Their Calls
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 05.01.2008
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.At the never-seen Bobby's prompting, Our Intrepid Heroes head to the teeny little burg of Milan, Ohio, where several residents over the last couple of weeks have been receiving phone calls from their dearly departed, including an 84-year-old widow who's been phone-sexing her Korean-War-casualty husband, a teenaged girl indulging in late-night heart-to-hearts with her recently deceased mother, and some suit whose long-dead high-school sweetheart's incessant badgering leads him to splatter his brains all across the walls of his tastefully appointed home office. Oh, and that teenaged girl's dead mom? Wants her to swallow every sleeping pill in the house so they can reunite on The Other Side, and I'm sure that randy old broad's been hearing something similar in between orgasms, because Milan's actually been afflicted with a Crocotta, otherwise known as an irrepressibly chatty little beastie from ancient times there to snack on the souls of those sad little nitwits he talks into committing suicide.
Unfortunately for everyone involved, Dashing El Deano becomes one of those sad little nitwits when he starts receiving messages from Daddy Shut Up, who still refuses to pay attention to his nickname even now, nearly two years after The Ceiling Demon blew his brain up, or whatever the hell happened at the end of that episode. Yeah, yeah, it's The Croc masquerading as their worthless bastard of a so-called father, but still: Shut up, Sucky John. So, despite Darling Sammy's wise warnings against such stupidity -- especially given what's been happening in the town around them for the last fourteen days -- Dimwitted El Deano follows Fake Sucky John's subsequent instructions to the letter and nearly gets himself killed. Happily enough, though, College Boy figures out what's really going on, and manages to off The Croc in a most delightfully grisly manner before any real harm's done.
And in the end, our somewhat battered Intrepid Heroes head back to this week's motel room to share A Moment over Dean's rapidly approaching demise at the hands of a demon or demons unknown. Just two more episodes left, kids!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Rattle, Rattle THEN! Did you know that Dashing El Deano has but a year to live? It's true! Well, it was true at the beginning of the season, so he's down to a few more weeks at the most by this point, but whatever. The important thing to understand is that he wanted to make the most of the brief time he has left upon this earth, and to that end he suggested Our Intrepid Heroes spend as much time as possible killing some evil sons of bitches and raising a little hell. And so, they set about repeatedly jamming Princess Sparkle's Knife That Can Kill Anything into Demonic Piper's back and clobbering the possessed hordes in Monument's police station with rifle butts and lashing The Seven Deadly Sins with holy water and beating the blameless Impala with a crowbar and shooting Jared Padalecki's adorable little fiancée in the face until they arrived, at long last, for a brief tête-à-tête with Princess Sparkle herself in the last pre-strike episode, in which Ruby revealed that Lilith wants Darling Sammy's impressively large intestines on a stick. Dashing And Soon-To-Be-Dead El Deano was, of course, shocked -- shocked! -- that Darling Sammy would keep such a secret from his brother, but we don't have time to pelt his aggravatingly hypocritical ass with garbage at the moment, for we must quiet ourselves for the...
...Silence, Silence NOW! Torrential rains pelt the nighttime façade of an expensive-looking suburban manse while indoors, the apparent gentleman of the house pours himself a tumbler full of healing booze. Mmmm. Booze. The gent shakily raises the glass to his lips and inhales about half of it before retreating deeper into his study to chew on a nervous thumbnail. As the thunderstorm continues to rage outside, his desk's telephone rings -- loudly, quickly, and incessantly -- and after he hesitates for a tense moment, he crosses to answer. "Ben?" a woman's voice asks from the other end of the line, and I should probably note that her voice fades in and out of clarity through a haze of EVP during the brief conversation that follows, so things aren't looking so good for our friend Ben, here, now are they? "They certainly aren't!" Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon shrieks with approval, already clapping his carefully manicured paws together with glee over Ben's impending demise. "Oh, I do hope that demise is positively gruesome!"Raoul shrieks again. "After all, last week's dreadful episode was such a disappointment on that count!" It's best not to dwell on such unhappiness, my scaly friend, remember? "I certainly do! Now do hurry along with your little story so I can watch this foolish human being die! Whee!" As you wish.