Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Reefer Madness
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.27.2001
Later that night, Lily and Rick are in the bedroom, and she's going over Eli's new regimen with disbelief. He has to be up by eight every morning, and on the phone by nine, calling around for a job. Rick calmly looks up from his book and adds that Eli has to make five phone calls before he can take a break. Man, the poor kid. Lily asks how Rick will know what Eli's doing, since he'll be at the office. Rick can't quite look at her as he answers, "Well, I guess you make sure he does it." Now that's pretty fucking nervy. And pretty fucking wussy, at the same time. Lily's not so hot on doing the dirty work for him and Karen, pointing out that he "and his wife" never even asked her opinion. "You are my wife," Rick says, unruffled. He adds, "She's his mom. She's freaked out. You'd be freaked out." Lily resents being lumped in with Karen and says she "wouldn't treat [her] child like he's already doing time." Karen's minion mouths, "Making phone calls is not jail." Lily's astounded at his nonchalance, asking, "Rick, have you ever watched him make one of these phone calls? Do you know how hard it is for him? Have either of you given him any guidance or help or reassurance how to face all these mean people on the other end of the line?" The ass-pole has worked its magic, and Rick is impervious to Lily's reasoning. He tells her that she's making too big a deal of it. Lily doesn't like this, and snaps, "Why, because I'm seeing who he actually is?" Rick resents the implication that he doesn't know his own kid. Lily says maybe he and Karen are "too close to it." Rick holds up a finger and says, "Lily, I beg you. Let this be between Karen and me." What alternate reality is he living in, where he's part of the parenting equation with Karen? Lily shoots him the death-ray eyes and says, "I don't know how I feel about having to enforce this regime when I don't agree with it." Rick sighs, rubs his head, and mutters, "I could just shoot myself now." Lily leans over and says, "You should have married a submissive little girl who would do whatever you say and not give you a hard time about anything." Rick teases that's who he thought he did marry. Hey, so did the rest of us. Lily flips over and straddles him, putting her face close to his and barking softly, "I am the boss around here and don't you forget it." I don't know too many guys who would argue with anything in that position. "You're not the boss of me," Rick says, and Lily retorts, "Oh yeah?" He points out that he's bigger, and to prove it, throws her off and rolls over on top of her. They make out. The thudding of footsteps is blissfully absent.
Cut to Grace climbing the stairs to the attic. "Hey!" she says, and then realizes she's looking at a shirtless Eli. He's unconcerned, but she's suddenly become a Victorian and doesn't know where to look. She sucks it up and finishes climbing the stairs, asking if his parents have ever "ridden" him like this before. He says "kind of" but he thought he'd "be out of danger after high school." Grace says, "Well it serves you right for not going away to school." Nice try at levity there. She says he could still go away to school, but he points out he'd actually have to get in somewhere first. He reaches past Grace for his shirt, and she almost passes out. She shyly admits, "I like having you here anyway." Eli thanks her for sticking up for him with the cop, and says that it was "cool." Grace is elated. The happy moment is interrupted by the sounds of fighting from the floor below. Grace rolls her eyes, and Eli chuckles.