Episode Report Card Miss Alli: A | 4 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Guidos are evil
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.16.2001
Thumping music accompanies the arrival of Frank and Margarita, who got to Rome from Geneva on a flight we weren't told about. Meanwhile, in Nancy and Emily's cab, Nancy spots the flag, and they make a run for it.
Joe and Bill walk along a lovely street of Rome, congratulating themselves on the discount Joe negotiated at the hotel last night. Well, pin a rose on your nose, Discount Joe. And also? Shut up. In a very nice moment, Nancy and Emily in their cab go right by the strolling Bill and Joe. "Oh, look, there's the Guidos," Emily says with a cackle that I definitely could get used to. Women who cackle are almost always superior to women who don't.
Hoof. The camera looks up at the horse statue, trying to make it seem imposing. In the end, it's just a horse statue. Team Esquire makes it to the horse, and is soon met and high-fived by Momily.
The Guidos are walking along, and they happen to pass Drew and Kevin. As they approach, Bill says to Joe, "Don't say anything. Just say 'good morning.'" Sheesh, does Joe need Bill to tell him when to talk to people and when not to? That's enough to make Bill into Loud Pushy Bill, almost. (Oh, and furthermore, we're calling that TGOOOT, part 16.) Thinking rather highly of themselves as always, Team Guido approaches Shower-Fresh. "Morning," Bill mutters. "Don't even think of saying 'good morning,'" Drew very nearly spits. In case you were still wondering whether the Guidos really did anything wrong back at the airport, remember that they had acted sort of arrogant and annoying before, and Drew was still fairly polite, and now Drew will have nothing to do with them. The airport was BAD, you can tell.
Momily and Esquire see the Guidos coming, and Bill of course says "buon giorno," like the tool he really, really, REALLY is. The other teams are standing at the gate of the Hoof, and the Guidos go stand at the other end of the gate. "They're smart to stay over there," Nancy comments. I have a feeling the quartet of boys that now surround Momily were especially not thrilled about the Nancy-pushing, and they're wound pretty tight and ready to pop without a lot of provocation. Rob, for instance, has long since reduced that gum to subatomic particles. Here comes Shower-Fresh now, sharing a greeting with Esquire. Topic? Hating Guido. Drew tells the "good morning" story.
Joe: "We know, like we've always said, is that we're focused on the race -- they're focused on us. We're gonna win the race! They're not focused on the race, they're focused on us. Why are they doing that now? That's stupid. They should be looking for the faster, quicker way to get there!" Yeah, thanks, Joe. SHUT! UP! (TGOOOT, part 17.) "It doesn't bother us," some Guido or another says. "What it does is it energizes us, because we know that they're not focused." Damn. If only someone could present actual evidence of what utter bullshit this entire "we're focused on the race, they're focused on us" thing really is! If only someone could present something called, "Team Guido Obsessing Over Other Teams, A Tale In 17 Parts." Oh, hey, look! I just did. What a couple of dicks.
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