Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Survivor: The Family Edition
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 02.10.2003
Back at NSA, Yulin is doing an homage to Linda Lavin by soaking his tired feet in a bucket of water after a hard day of waitressing, just like Linda does in the opening credits of Alice. Oh, wait, he's got his feet in that bucket because he's being tortured with defibrillator paddles. Simmons enters after a well-deserved torture break and resumes the questioning. This interrogation is still being observed by Palmer on his laptop from the safety of his office. Poor Man's Hume Cronyn enters Palmer's office and informs Palmer that Kiefer has found Syed Ali and is interrogating him. Palmer tells PMHC to make whatever resources Kiefer needs available to Kiefer. Then they both watch Simmons zap Yulin with those defibrillator paddles like they're taking an internet porn break. For the benefit of those of us who might be squeamish at the sight of an old man being tortured, Palmer mentions that Yulin has had extensive training in "interrogation resistance." "But everyone breaks eventually," says Palmer, dreamily watching the monitor. The time is 07:10:12 PM.
Mazda is the sponsor of tonight's episode. [cough] Car brand slut [cough]. Looks like Kurt Russell has a new movie coming out…in the spring. Now that Denzel won an Oscar for playing a cop in a older cop vs. younger cop drama, every male actor of a certain age is finding a piece of chicken to pair up with. In this case, it's that blond guy from Felicity that everyone totally forgot about. Why is Kurt Russell still starring in movies and getting above title credit? Is being married to Goldie Hawn that prestigious? Did Uncle Walt molest him during his tenure as a child star for Disney and give him a lifelong career to shut him up? Kurt Russell is the Fanta of actors. You know how you never see Fanta and you'd just assume that the factory closed back in the seventies but then you take a road trip somewhere and when you stop at a Subway franchise, there are cans of Fanta in the cooler. Why are they still making Fanta?
The time is 07:14:39 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Soul Patch is working the phones behind an opaque "topo map," Raggedy Marie is still cruising in the Blondemobile, and Syed Ali is bound to a chair. Behind the topo map, it becomes apparent that Soul Patch is checking up on a rescue team who is looking for Spawn in the forest. Mason gets word of this and asks Soul Patch what he's doing. Soul Patch reminds Mason that he promised Kiefer to do anything in his power to protect his daughter. Mason reminds Soul Patch that, although Spawn is lost, she is outside of the blast radius and doesn't need Soul Patch's attention as much as, say, the city of Los Angeles. "Stay focused on the bomb," yells Mason. "That goes for everybody." He then sneaks up to the Kiefer Kube to have a cough or two. Now that Mason is out of earshot, Soul Patch goes back to his search for Spawn.