Episode Report Card Kim: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Moves Like Jagger?
By Kim | Season 13 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.19.2011
So they start out in a bed, and take way too long to get into the dance. Len is going to hate that. But once they do, you can see why Val was trying to eat up time, because she's not good. He puts in as many poses as possible, because she has impossibly long legs and is very flexible, but she can't dance. Not only that, she has no performance skills, so she looks at her feet most of the time. Oof. Poor Val. I don't love him, but he deserves better in his first season. Judges? Len didn't like the malarkey with the bed, and he thought Elisabetta lost confidence out of hold. Bruno thought she was good in hold, but she needs to learn to perform. Carrie Ann advises her to act like she does as a model but also dance. I don't think Elisabetta understood a word of that. Scores: Carrie Ann 5, Len 5 and Bruno 5. I thought that was a little high, honestly. She didn't show me anything.
They're really pushing this brother vs. brother thing, and honestly, I don't think anyone cares. Maks is partnered with Hope Solo, soccer player. They struggle in rehearsal because they have the Viennese waltz, which requires feminine elegance, and Hope is all muscles and brawn. Seriously, her arms are huge. And good for her. But it can make for some tough lines.
Maks gets right to the dancing, which Len will love. And he put these floaty fabric pieces on Hope's arms, which helps disguise the muscle. But her arms aren't bad! They're not as good as Chynna's, but they're not bad. Her footwork is actually really good. They do this turn in the middle, and I think Hope forgets to spot or doesn't know how, because she looks really dizzy afterwards. Like they walk off at the end, and she's kind of stumbling. But overall, she was better than I thought she would be. Judges? Bruno thinks she has great control and strength, but she needs to work on her control, and he thinks she has a great future. Carrie Ann saw a good connection when they were in hold, and her lines were really good. Len liked her posture and movement, and needs to work on her fluidity and movement. Then there's a bit with Bruno and Maks that I didn't catch. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7 and Bruno 7. They are thrilled and surprised with those scores.
I love Carson Kressley. Remember Queer Eye? That show flamed out (no pun intended) faster than anything. Carson makes a little dig at the fact that he's paired with a woman and not a man, and then, you guys, his rehearsal footage is not that good. I'm worried. He seems to have no innate grace. He's awkward and bird-like. Oh, dear.