Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT One Hundred Yawns
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 10 | Aired on 01.20.2002
Aerial shot of Boston at night, thank the lord. Richard is at the bar, blabbering on about skiing to his date. She's an older woman with one hell of a wattle. She says she feels he's only interested in her for her neck. He calls it a "love curtain." Okay, I'm just going to keep drinking here.
Nelle, Corretta, the Biscuit, and Elaine all watch Richard's date, from a distance. John says he can't believe Richard is interested in "that artifact." Corretta coughs, "Grump." Elaine is looking forward to meeting her date tonight. Corretta wonders why she hasn't been paired up yet, and John says it's because she listed "intelligence" as a criterion. She coughs, "Old! Man!" Heh. Nell Carter brings Elaine's date: it's JBJ. He looks a lot less than thrilled to see the woman who ogled him on the street earlier. In fact, he looks grossed out. Elaine says he "looks even cuter upright." Oh, don't objectify JBJ. He hates that shit. She's all, I sing: "Would you like to hear me sing?" Everyone at the table makes an "uh oh" or a "yeesh" face. I just drink.
Ally knocks on Frank's door. She has some news for him. The charges will be dropped, if he puts away his wings and never breaks into that house again. Frank asks if he can jump off the roof instead. Negatory, good buddy. He sits at his drafting table, and Ally reminds him that even Don Quixote had to stop tilting at windmills. Frank, who knows poetry, says that he rose up again at the end. And Dulcinea shouldn't tell him to quit! Ally gets that nutty-but-you-love-it look on her face and says that he described her flying exactly. Parents fighting, music, flap flap flap all over town. And, there's medication for Frank's condition, she learned. He's all, you talked to my doctor? The one treating me for cancer? Oh, he has CANCER now. That's a little detail best shared in the beginning, but saved in this instance for "dramatic" purposes. He says when his "time comes, [he] will fly over that river." Euphrates? Or Hades?
Aerial shot. Bar. Elaine is singing the theme to Flashdance. JBJ watches uncomfortably. Nelle says that this song is just the beginning.
Nell Carter asks John to dance -- to see if he can dance, that is. He passes. Corretta coughs, "Fart!" Hee. Wow, Elaine has a headset mic. She's, um, dancing. Can I just tell you, one of my friends' brothers thought a line in this song was "take your pants off! And make it happen!" It scans. Anyway, JBJ drinks. Me too.
Ally asks Frank, "Are you going to die?" Ally? We're all going to die, at some point. We all die. It's called life. Worm food -- that's us. Frank says he needs to try soon since his "flapping is bound to get anemic." Oh, my GOD. Thirty-nine minutes in, twenty-one or so left. Help me, Mr. Daniels. Not Charlie. You. Jack. Ally asks whether the flying is about escaping death. This show is death. He says she "can have an ambulance there, if it gives [her] peace of mind." Oh, so this is about ALLY now? Of course it is. Silly me. One jump is all he wants. It's the last wish of a dying man.