Episode Report Card Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Resident Weasel
By Tippi Blevins | Season 9 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.10.2009
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.There's a decent little mystery at the heart of this episode: Who created the virus that's turning the citizens of Smallville and Metropolis into zombies from Resident Evil and 28 Days Later? Tess is attacked at home by a rampaging posse of red-eyed, black-ooze-drooling infected. When she's bitten, she becomes one of them. At first her doctor thinks she's just having some mental problems, and who wouldn't believe a man with a jawline so chiseled you could use it to grate cheese? It soon becomes clear that something's seriously wrong, though, when a raging Tess throws Lois across the room instead of making a pass at her. Clark nabs a sample of Tess's blood, which Emil and Chloe test and discover an alien enzyme that's just like one found in Davis Bloome's blood. Realizing the virus's Kryptonian origins, they decide that the only cure is Clark's blood. With the virus rapidly spreading, he agrees to let them poke him with a Kryptonite needle.
Lois, in the meantime, has been attacked and bitten at the Daily Planet building. In order to keep her from succumbing to the infection, she's supposed to be kept awake, a task which Clark leaves to Oliver. Oliver, half drunk and popping pills, turns his back for a moment to confess his feelings to Lois. It's just long enough for her to nod off and let the virus take over. Never fear, though, because the tiny vial of blood that Emil and Chloe took from Clark has been sprayed all over the city and infused into the water supply, quickly curing everyone. It's at this point that we find out that Tess's chiseled doctor is the one who created the virus and that he's actually one of Zod's soldiers. On the one hand, Zod is pleased that his soldier's unauthorized experiment has revealed the existence of a super-powered Kryptonian (Zod thinks it's Jor-El because of Clark's S symbols). On the other hand, Zod can't have his soldiers straying off the reservation, so he beheads the crafty weasel while in full kneel.
There are also subplots of Chloe spying on Oliver and the other League members to protect them from their self-indulgent, self-destructive selves, and drawn out scenes hinting at a love quadrangle involving Lois, the Blur, Clark, and Oliver. Get your flu shots and meet back here in a few days for the full recap.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Welcome to Clark's unconscious, sweaty face! His eyes snap open and he rolls them around a little. He lets out a "Mehhh!" of struggle and pain. Or maybe it's more of a "Muhhh!" Sounds are so hard to spell out. I admire comic book writers who do it well. As Clark slowly sits up, it becomes obvious he was subjected to some sort of medical procedure: He's lying on some kind of medical table and there's a loosened latex strap at the crook of his elbow. His light blue shirt is open over a white A-shirt. He lifts away the strap and reveals an angry bruise. I confess that at first I mostly noticed the nice bulgy vein in his biceps. My compliments to Tom Welling's free weights. Clark clutches at the wound in pain and staggers to his feet. As he looks around, it becomes apparent that he's at the balcony level of the Watchtower. He's alone. On a desk a few feet away, his cell phone rings. He pauses before picking it up because on a cart right by him, there's a syringe with two tiny green droplets on the needle. He knocks the cart over and picks up the phone. There's a text message from Oliver that reads, "I lost her." Clark frowns, breathing heavily.
Clark stumbles out of the building and has a look around. A bike lies on the sidewalk. An abandoned car beeps because its doors have been left open. An aerial shot shows a seemingly abandoned Metropolis beneath gray and cloudy skies. Clark stands in an intersection and uses his superhearing. Aren't you glad they don't show the inside of his ear anymore? Now it's just a halo of distorted light and Clark looking like he's concentrating on math homework. He hears heavy metal music and guesses it must be Lois for some reason. He follows the music to the Daily Planet offices. The basement has been ransacked. The overhead lights flicker. He hears some machinery and goes to the copy room, where he comes up behind a shapely lass in a blue top and black skirt. She's standing over a copy machine, which is running with the top open. We see just her hands on the scanning plate. Then gobbets of syrupy-looking drool splatter between her hands, accompanied by a sound like a stewed tomato being vigorously squeezed. Num! Clark calls to her: "Lois, are you OK?" She twitches then wheels around to face him. Her skin is gray and pale, her eyes are red, and black, inky ooze coats her teeth. How many times do people have to tell you not to gargle with copier toner, Lois? She lunges at Clark, her gnashing teeth devouring the whole screen. Somebody save him!