Episode Report Card Cate: C | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Bitch, bitch, bitch
By Cate | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.26.2000
The doctor leaves. A hot-looking African-American woman taps John on the shoulder and admits that she overheard his conversation with Dr. Walker. She offers to buy him a cup of coffee. He tells her she "may not," but that he will buy her that cup of coffee. Wow, stupid sexism like that pretty much cancels out any good messages that may have sneaked through into the viewers' brains so far. Instead of rolling her eyes and departing, Priscilla introduces herself and says she's been asking around about John. Hey, a female stalker for a change! Is that supposed to make it all right?
John turns around to see Heather watching him. She asks if Priscilla is his girlfriend. But enough about John -- it's Dopey we need to talk about, of course. Heather's been trying to find him. She says she will drop by the Swingin' Bachelor Pad at seven. The world awaits her news with bated breath.
But where is Dopey? He's at the CamPound to pick up Grandmaster S for a very special meeting with Tha N-Dog over at the Bachelor Pad. Annie doesn't want Simon leaving the house, and she doesn't believe he's being very sincere about being sorry for his own and Norton's behaviour. She says she will not be happy until she receives a real apology from Norton. Simon looks a little worried. That issue dispensed with, Annie chooses to concentrate on Dopey's new pants instead. At this point, I'm surprised the trousers weren't listed amongst the guest stars. While John is the Numero Uno Stupid Plot Enabler, Annie does a passable job here of establishing herself as the runner-up by obliquely asking about Dopey's love life. That gives him the cue to stupidly ask if Annie knows about Heather leaving a note for him. Gwen came up with the excellent theory about why Dopey always gets these offensively moronic sub-plots. At his age, he really should be having sex already, but since the show is rated G, they can't deal with any sex plotlines. So instead they have to substitute the drivel that currently makes it to air. I think Gwen's right, and that makes me feel pretty sorry for Barry Watson. But not that sorry. After all, he must get paid quite well to act like an imbecile. SuperMom informs Matt about The Amazing Robbie's impending nuptials.
And speaking of the happy couple, here they are now, enjoying the exciting conversational stylings of RevCam. Robbie looks a little dubious about the whole wedding deal, but Cheryl's gamely trying to stay upbeat, even when talking about how she's lived in her own apartment since the age of sixteen. Robbie isn't living with his mother anymore either; she abandoned him and moved to Florida. Except Robbie must be eighteen by now, so I'm not wasting too much sympathy on him. Cheryl is obviously not a churchgoer and claims she doesn't know any other ministers, so why she should feel so strongly about having a church wedding is beyond me. Eric claims he's not trying to judge them, but you just know he's going to tell SuperMom all about this conversation later, and then they'll both dis Robbie and Cheryl. In fact, to validate their earlier speculation regarding Cheryl's womb, it turns out that Cheryl is indeed pregnant. Does anyone care about her character? No, I didn't think so. ["Does 'thinking she has crap-ass taste in guys' count as 'caring'?" -- Sars] RevCam pretends to, but I think that's only because we're overdue for a commercial break, and apparently it makes for good TV to have a close-up of some character looking shocked or pensive while Kenny G plays us to commercial.