Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B- | 5 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Her Name Is Luka...
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.08.2004
In front of his locker, Logan's on his knees. Given certain currents later in the episode, some among you may deem that foreshadowing. VP Clemens appears and asks Logan for a word. Logan, with a big smile: "Anthropomorphic. All yours, big guy." Heeee hee hee. If he came up with that not because it's a big word, but to imply that Clemens is an inanimate object, he's an even bigger bitch than me and Demian put together. And that, dear friends, is Attack Of The Fifty-Foot Bitch-level bitchery. Clemens informs Logan that his dad promised to donate a pair of boots for the school's fundraising auction. Logan: "Not the ones made for walking! God, I love those boots." Perhaps you could suggest that your father donate a few of his belts instead. Unless you love those as well, and don't think I think you're not twisted enough to. Clemens clarifies that he's talking about the pair Haaron wore in Hair Trigger, which are apparently a "big-ticket item. We're hoping to be able to pay for our new scoreboard with what we'll make off of them." Logan smiles and crosses his fingers in mock-hope. Hee. Clemens goes on that he hasn't been able to reach Haaron, and was hoping Logan could remind him. Logan: "I'll have my assistant call his assistant." Clemens looks after him, all, "That lovable scamp. I wonder if he'd like some more Pirate Points?"
Veronica's sitting in Miss Dent's class as the teacher enters, trailed by a woman who's babbling about Jake Kane and high school and man is she going to get old real quick. Oh, there, it just happened. Miss Dent introduces the woman, "Evelyn Bugby," to Veronica. Evelyn somewhat obnoxiously opines, "Aren't you cute!" Veronica turns away slowly, no doubt counting to ten. In increments of .001. Miss Dent informs Veronica that Evelyn is from the alumni association, and is looking for help putting together some kind of photo display. Because it would be a little expensive to do the entire thing in engravings and oil like they did in her day. Veronica somewhat rudely declines, but after Evelyn walks away, Miss Dent begs Veronica to reconsider, tempting her with all the bad clothes and hair she'll be able to mock, since the class in question is 1979. I'm sorry, but Evelyn is supposed to be only twenty-five years out of high school? What drugs was the casting director on? Because this woman looks the appropriate age to deliver the line, "Grandpa is talking to you, Dong!" And for those of you too young for that reference (sniff!), my point is this: she looks like she snuffed Sixteen Candles during the Truman administration. Anyway, Veronica accepts, but it's clearly not because of the allure of mocking people. And here I thought we understood each other. Miss Dent gives Veronica some details about the assignment, and then adds, "And please. Keep her? Away from me." Time is on your side, if you take my meaning. Or it would be, if not for what I hear in the spoiler thread. Miss Dent departs, and Veronica opens the 1979 yearbook to a picture of her mom with a feathery 'do. Wow, Miss Dent wasn't kidding. Between the hair and the clothes, I'm guessing the Smashing Pumpkins didn't do a whole lot of research on that year before they waxed nostalgic about it.