Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tristan - Cute = Jess
By Pamie | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.04.2002
CuteDean and Rory are talking off near the gazebo. CuteDean says he's going to kill Jess. Rory says he was probably just kidding around. CuteDean says he knows that Jess was messing with him. He asks why Jess would do this. He's tired of Jess fucking with him. The two worst lines of the episode are then uttered. Rory: "Maybe he was hungry." CuteDean: "He's trying to make me crazy." It's like CuteDean loves Jess all of a sudden with this secret crush. Jess walks up and says something stupid about small-town life. He says to Rory, "So, shall we?" "'Shall we' what?" CuteDean asks. Then, for some reason, the camera angle changes so there's a close-up on Jess or CuteDean, depending on who's delivering the line, and it looks like my "Teach Yourself French" videotapes. Jess says that the person who buys the basket wins the company of the woman who made the basket. He'd like to have his picnic with Rory now. He points at CuteDean and calls him "Guy Who Didn't Bring Enough Money." CuteDean snarls and asks Jess if he thinks this is funny. Jess says it's no Lenny Bruce routine, but it has its moments. More back and forth about where Rory is going that doesn't involve Rory talking. Jess calls CuteDean Edgar Bergen and says he'd rather hear what Charlie McCarthy has to say. Rory, for some reason I don't understand, says she's going to go on the picnic with Jess because he won the basket. Break up with her, CuteDean. She doesn't deserve you anymore. ["I totally agree. Then, stick fucking Jess in a sack of rocks and throw him in the ocean." -- Wing Chun] Rory says she and Lorelai have been doing this every year. Then she somehow tries to blame this on Cardigan Man, saying that he'll be pissed at her if she breaks tradition. CuteDean says that this isn't school, and that Rory isn't getting graded. Point for CuteDean on that one. Rory says this isn't a big thing. CuteDean tells Rory not to go. Jess develops a Southern accent to say, "Geez, man! She's not shipping off to 'Nam!" CuteDean avoids eye contact to tell Jess to "so shut up." Rory again doesn't see why CuteDean is angry. She says it's just lunch. "No," CuteDean says. Rory asks what he thinks is going to happen. Jess says he'd like to know as well. "I don't want you to go," CuteDean repeats. Rory whines and says it's no big deal. She has had her hands in her pockets this entire time, gesturing with her hands in her coat. CuteDean throws up his hands and says, "Fine!" He storms away completely in the right. Rory runs after him.