Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Rory's A Material Girl
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.08.2004
The boys are all squealing as Rory squeezes her way out the front door, laughing and joking with what looks like a building full of boys. Dean, who's been waiting patiently, doesn't say anything. Rory just keeps fixing her straps, and then saunters over like, "Dean, hi. I'm sorry; have you been waiting long? I didn't have a watch, and we were in the poolhouse." She points at the boys and introduces them as her Yale friends. She starts to talk about how boring the party was, but stops herself. "Is that a new shirt?" she asks. Dean thinks it over and then asks, "What am I doing here, Rory?" Rory: "You're picking me up." Dean shakes his head. "I don't belong here," he says. "Not anymore." The strummy-strummy-la-la starts as Rory kind of exhales a little. "Do I?" Dean asks. And instead of saying anything real, Rory just goes, "Dean." He nods and says, "You look good." Rory's tears start, and I wonder if this break-up is because people were so upset that Dean cheated on his wife for Rory, or if the writers just wanted to make us hate Rory even more so that the end of the year we don't care what happens to her anymore and they can write her off the show so that Lorelai can adopt Lane. Dean gets into his truck and drives away as Rory crosses her arms and cries. And for a second, it's almost like how it was back before they lost sight of how to write this couple, back when they were two people who admired each other for their differences, and wanted to be like each other in ways that they weren't. Back when they loved each other in an innocent sweetness that seemed really timeless. Their break-ups are so much better than their actual relationship, and that's really quite sad. Logan immediately swoops in and tells Rory she's going to be okay. She says she's not. Logan assembles the troops, and tells the men they're to go back to the poolhouse for some serious bucking up. Colin offers to pour more Scotch. Finn offers to re-enact The Passion of the Christ. Rory blots away that one tear as Logan practically kisses her neck, murmuring that nothing ever seems as bad after Finn's The Passion of the Christ: "Except Finn's Passion of the Christ." Rory and Logan stare at each other until Logan grabs Rory's shoulder and leads her back in. He tries to put his arm around her, but he bumps his elbow on Rory's hunchback.
Just to be clear, Rory started dating Dean, then had some kind of Tristan-or-Dean crisis that led to Jess-or-Dean as she slowly treated Dean like crap while chasing other boys until Dean broke up with her to save face. She got dumped by Jess, so she started thinking about Dean again. She tried to keep him from getting married, and then threw herself at him again after he was married. Then she fooled around with him while he was married, and sent a letter to his house that destroyed his marriage. Then once she got him all to herself again, she lost interest, because other shitty boys were more interesting, until Dean had to break up with her again so that he didn't feel like the world's biggest douche. What an incredible way to take one relatable character and make her absolutely deplorable. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Good-bye, CuteDean. You were too good for her.