Episode Report Card Potes: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Stabellini
By Potes | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 09.09.2012
Teresa apparently left some shoes in Napa, which are now in Kathy's possession. Teresa's going to get them from her, and Juicy advises her to make it short and then leave. Teresa then utters the most hilarious words in Housewives history: "I have to say, my husband's really, really smart. And when he usually says something, he's right and I trust him." She adds that there are lots of rumors about how they're getting a divorce, and he's cheating on her, but they're all false. We then cut to a montage of a) Milania talking about how daddy's sleeping in his own room; b) Juicy taking a call in Napa and referring to his bitch wife. Romance! Teresa tells us that Joe's not going anywhere. Unless he cheats on her, because then she'll break his legs. Maybe we should pitch in and get her a monogrammed crowbar for Christmas? As Joe leaves for a "meeting," Teresa tells him that if she ever found him cheating they'd be done. He counters that he'd bring a girl to their house, just like old school. The Ozzie and Harriet of the 21st century, those two.
And then it's time to check in with Rich and Kathy. They drink wine and talk about how Victoria is stressed out about getting into colleges. Richie thinks that she's been babied too much and should go away and learn how to be on her own. Kathy, however, grew up in a traditional Italian family where it was custom to just stick around and be a total ignoramus for the rest of your life. Victoria comes out and says that she set up a tour at the University of Maryland, and Kathy looks worried. Richie is very excited at the prospect of his kids leaving the house, so he can bone Kathy a lot. Kathy starts crying and says that Richie is going to cry too when Victoria starts packing her bags. He's basically like, "Eh."
After a commercial break, Jacqueline visits with Melissa. Melissa gives her some banana bread and then asks if she really slept through Caroline and Teresa's argument in Napa. Duh, no, she was just avoiding the nastiness. They both agree that it was poor form of Teresa to not mention Kathy in her toast. Oh! And then Teresa is visiting Kathy, with Audriana in tow. Kathy has made little quiches, and the two make small talk about Milania's first day of school before getting to business. Kathy talks about how she sort of backed off when she saw that Melissa and Teresa were bonding, and Teresa says that she didn't want Kathy to feel left out, and then Kathy brings up the fucking toast. Teresa says that if she mentioned Kathy, she would have had to mention Caroline's kids, and clearly they did nothing toast-worthy. And then Kathy tries to explain why she was attempting to facilitate a reconciliation between Teresa and Caroline. She claims that they were not ganging up on Teresa, but of course Teresa felt ambushed.