Episode Report Card Kim: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hey Ya!
By Kim | Season 13 | Episode 3
Last week, people just liked Carson because he's really likable. He's a terrible, terrible dancer. But you want to like him. But he's really uncoordinated. The good thing is that he knows it, and is willing to work hard. Which will make it even sadder if he is awful. And judging by his rehearsals, that might happen. Eesh. Okay, his footwork is pretty good. At least, his feet are moving together and in the right directions. His kicks are awful, though. He kind of looks like that scene in any body-takeover movie where the protagonist fights with himself? You know, like Steve Martin or Jim Carrey or whoever has to try to keep himself from doing something that the spirit inside his body wants him to do? That's how Carson dances. Like a man possessed. By a really uncoordinated demon. There's a lot less joy and personality this time around too, but the dancing is a little better. Judges? Carrie Ann saw improvement, but she thought it was a little wobbly and he seemed to be fighting with his partner at times. Len tells Carson he's the worst dancer but also the most fun to watch, and Len likes that he worked the hardest this week. Bruno goes off on a tangent about banana skins but concludes that there's work to do on technique, but it was great entertainment. Here's the thing: Carson is not going to get much better, technique-wise. That's the sad truth. And usually I don't root for the ones that are entertaining, but I'm rooting for him. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6 and Bruno 6. Overscored. And remember, I'm rooting for him.
Ricki and Derek are up next. He wants her to bring attitude and charisma, and she's confident that she can. What she's not as confident about is her ability to get through rehearsals, since she's not a twenty-something like Derek, and the jive requires a LOT of energy. I would probably pass out in the first eight bars, so I'm with her.
Well. First let me get this out of the way: that was the worst version of "Hey Ya" ever. I mean, that's a great song. No one disputes that. But I felt like the awful version sucked energy out of the routine. Anyway. The first third is not even a jive. Derek is doing a lot of Mark Ballas-like dancing around Ricki, whose feet are barely moving. The jive should feature constant kicks and flicks and Ricki's feet don't start moving until the dance is like half over. Then she does a few bars, and then there's this weird sexual groin-rubbing segment that makes me feel uncomfortable and is also not a part of the jive. So I don't know how to score this. As a routine, it was fine, although it tried way too hard. LOOK AT ME, I'M SEXY! Calm down, routine. We get it. And then as a jive, there was nothing there. I like Ricki, even if she won't shut up about Kirstie Alley. (Shut up about Kirstie Alley, Ricki) I'm torn. It wasn't bad. The technique was fine. I think it failed in the choreography, which is usually Derek's strong suit, so I'm confused. Judges, tell me what to think. Len found it a bit disturbing, and wanted more jive content, but thought it was an improvement on last week. Bruno thinks Ricki is the first person tonight who did the kicks and flicks correctly, and Carrie Ann thinks it was the best jive of the night so far. Keep in mind that their competition was Hope (soccer player feet), David (awkward), and Rob (flat foot). So I don't know how much of an accomplishment that is. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7 and Bruno 8. Overscored.