Episode Report Card Michael Neal: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ludachristmas
By Michael Neal | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.12.2007
The Lemons, Jack, and Mother Donaghy all sit down at a Grizzlebees, or some such, and Mother Donaghy gets to work. She begins by sowing seeds of disappointment, bringing up the topic of grandchildren and Liz's love life but the Lemons seem perfectly satisfied with Champy their Spaniel, absent any grandkids. Mom Donaghy shifts topics to politics, but to no avail. Jack begs her to back off but she's convinced that the Lemons are in denial. Mother Donaghy asks brother Mitch if he ever feels second class, what with Liz getting all the attention, but he answers no. As a matter of fact, his parents took him to see the movie Goonies just yesterday -- and by yesterday, he means 1985 yesterday. Lemon can't believe it. She's stunned. The day before the day before her brother's ski accident was the day she played on the football team. Her parents never went to the game; they were "embarrassed." Buck Henry Lemon loved White Haven football. "I was taking a stand for women," reminds Lemon. "Are you taking a stand now by not giving us grandkids?" retorts Mother Lemon. Lemon wonders why they never bother Mitch about grandkids. "Because he's 17," announces Poppa Lemon. "He's 40!" says Lemon. Gasp! Mitch's memory comes flooding back: He's so old! Poppa Lemon can't believe that Lemon didn't offer to pick up the dinner check: "I'm on a fixed income." Momma Lemon asks for another drink. Mother Donaghy leans over to Jack: "Bingo."
And as for the best lines of the night:
Jack's proverbial political line
Jack: What are you trying to say Lemon? That your family's perfect and they never fight?
Lemon: No, I remember them arguing a lot during the gas crisis of '79 but since Carter left office it's been pretty smooth sailing.
Jack: You got that right.
Boo! Andy Richter having sex
Jena: It should be mentioned that sexually Mitch is very much an adult.
Lemon: No, it should not be mentioned.
Happy Holi-duh
Kenneth: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Jewish.
This week's Tracy reel
DotCom: All Tray had to do was sign his community service papers, but he makes a stop for breakfast first.
Tracy: So it's my fault diners can serve alcohol in New York State? That's on me now?
Tracy: And now, this time of the year -- Ludachristmas, New Year's Eve, Martin Luther King Day -- all you do is drink.
"This is a flask."
Words and the power to change
Mother Lemon: [On set] Oooh my goodness, look at this. They built all of this because of words you wrote!