Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Girl Who Fell To Earth
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.20.2009
Ellen runs to find more booze, Saul runs after Ellen for more yelling, and Tory's headache rages out of control. "Two to go, two to stay. And... the swing vote is walking out the door." I bet even in her dreams she's the Minority Whip. "Look, if we don't get six more votes for the Cupcake Carnival, the Unicorn Majority is going to shit all over Ice Cream Castle. We'll lose the entire Rainbow Swamp. A territory for which, I might remind you, a lot of good penguins died. A lot of good penguins, sir, with families. Look, I've never called in a favor from you before, not even in the Hot Air-Balloon Wars of '76. But I'm asking now."
Paulla's proud, leading Gaius through Dogsville, patting kids on the head, being a bigger and better Gaius than he ever was. "We don't feel the need to cut ourselves off from the rest of the world," she softly nicks him, and Jeanne excitedly tells about the jewelry they make and sell, how they got all the food. I wish she'd shown him some, like peace signs and hemp and stuff. "Gaius Is Still All Right With Me" and "Polytheism Is Not Healthy For Children & Other Living Things" tapestries you can hang on your wall. He's like, "Great, Jeanne. Take a Xanbar or five because your overexcited ass is wearing me out, and I haven't had any tail since... Hello, you." He stops at a perfectly lovely young Dogsville mother, who smiles back at him with guarded recognition; Paulla calls his name about sixteen times before remembering just how chronic his dick's ADD actually is.
Gaius asks the woman's name; she doesn't show her surprise but she feels it; you can see it in her eyes. Her name is Naia. She's happy to hear that her name is beautiful; even happier when Gaius asks to be introduced to her son. And his name, this beautiful smiling refugee child, is "Gaius." Named, he assumes, for him; he's not wrong: Gaius was named for his father. Gaius goes from flattered to terrified to completely oblivious in about one-third of a second, but it registers. Then comes the hunger, in the boy's eyes. He asks Paulla for food, for the child, and she says they have none to spare, and then comes the hunger in our boy's eyes, as he realizes how he's going to win.
"Really, Paulla. Are we going to enjoy this food with children starving? Now ask yourself this question, really." Paulla grins ruefully, seeing exactly what he's doing and unable to stop it or do much more than glare hilariously, outdone. I love Paulla. To be so disappointed, again and again, by the desperate moves of someone you believed in, someone who gave you hope when you were so desperate and afraid you could even believe in Gaius Baltar; to deal with this monumental ongoing affront and still just smile and think about ripping his face off with manicured nails, powered by Jesus. "Look around, look at these chil... It's not just this child here, this little Gaius -- I mean, but he is very cute, this one, yeah -- I mean, it's all... It's all the children, isn't it? All of them. And you're putting the food..." He shouts, in the grip of full oratory, pointing to his own empty mouth, addressing the whole of Dogsville now. "Listen to me! Listen to me! I'm coming back here. And if it is the last thing I do, I will ensure that every single one of you are fed, and your children are fed, as God is my witness!" Naia holds him, so close, and he makes that sad-clown moue face I love so much, hilariously, at Paulla, spitting nails with fists curled up.
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