Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Who's a Bad Mama Jamma?
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.28.2002
Back in the Dungeon of Dastardly Deeds, Syd's still chained to the chair, bleeding out her hole (again, heh). Quicker than you can say, "Hey, that basement's full of lots of conveniently-left-behind tools and the walls seem to be completely sound-proof 'cuz Syd's making lots and LOTS of noise," Syd's managed to bust her way out of the chair, rigged up some tank to blast the door open, and leapt out of the room, all while gushing blood from her wound.
Wendy Kroy: Where IS everyone?
Regina: They're probably drinking, just like us.
Wendy Kroy: I mean, I know suspension of disbelief is a way of life with this show, and I really DIG that about it, but, um, WHAT? Her mother just shot her two seconds ago, she's BLEEDING, and yet she manages to clank her way out of that chair without a SINGLE PERSON ENTERING THE ROOM?
Regina: Shhh. Pass the Cheez-in-a-Kan.
Wendy Kroy: Why aren't YOU screaming at the screen like you usually do?
Regina: Mmmph. Cheez.
Wendy Kroy: REGINA! Sydney just picked up a WRENCH that someone LEFT BEHIND on a WELL-STOCKED worktable! SAY SOMETHING!
Sniping aside, Jennifer Garner rules in this scene, managing to convey pain and steely determination while kicking ass and taking names. Are you listening, Emmy Nomination Committee? PAY ATTENTION.
"And you did all this with a bullet in your shoulder?" balks Dr. Nancy. "Yes," says Sydney, whipping some nunchakus out of her pocket. "And you should see what I can do with my arm in a sling." Actually, she just says something about adrenaline. I'm pretty sure that, besides cluing newbies in on the premise of the show, Dr. Nancy's only other purpose here is to ask the questions that we the audience would ask of J.J. and Team. Because, yeah, she had a bullet in her shoulder and, yeah, we don't believe she could have done all that ass-kicking. Does it make us like the show any less? Hell NO.
Back in Taipei, Syd calls Spy Daddy, who promptly tells her that Vaughn ain't around and that she should get her ass on the getaway plane. Syd tells Daddy to stuff it and hoofs it over to the Red Ball Arena where Vaughn supposedly bought the farm. Willage, cooling his heels while icing his wounds, looks over at Spy Daddy and says, "Who's Vaughn?" This allows for a DR. NANCY MOMENT IN WHICH WE DEAL WITH VAUGHN AND HIS UNTIMELY NON-DEMISE AND WE ARE REMINDED HOW MUCH WE LOVE VAUGHN AND HOW AWESOME THESE ACTORS ARE.
Back to the past-present, where Syd's boldly entering the Red Ball Arena, dressed in a HAZMAT suit. Now, you'd think that covering herself with a big-ass clunky HAZMAT suit would be enough of a disguise, wouldn't you? Of course you would. If she'd, oh, I don't know, REMOVED THE BLUE WIG. Whatever. The scene's only two seconds long. I'm just thinking that all the other dudes in the HAZMAT suits might, ya know, NOTICE a little blue-haired chick. Kind of. Maybe. IF THEY WEREN'T ON CRACK.