Episode Report Card Megyn: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT War...what is it good for?
By Megyn | Season 4 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.03.2001
Mukada's office o' conversion. The scene consists of Mukada talking to an inmate named Samuel. Samuel wants to convert to Catholicism. Mukada beams proudly as he reminds Samuel that Reverend Dylan may not want that for young Samuel so much. Samuel gives not one rat's ass. Mukada beams so bright, I gotta wear shades.
Bible interpretation by Reverend Dylan. Mukada walks through the service and, short of carrying a big sign festooned with ribbons and glitter topped by a large headshot of God and reading "Mukada rules, Cloutier drools" on it, conveys to all that he won at least one Samuel in this round.
Library. Take one smug Mukada, add a splash of conniving Dylan, shake vigorously, and you've got yourself one red-eyed recapper with a virtual buffet of caffeine, alcohol, and water in front of her shaky typing hands, wishing they would get over themselves. Mukada insincerely states, "I hope you're not upset that Samuel has decided to become a Catholic." Cloutier: "If by upset, you mean angry, no…but I am fearful for his soul." Mukada's head turns round and round as he forces a tight smile: "His soul will be fine, believe me." Childish sniping ensues, including Dylan accusing Mukada of keeping score on who can save the most souls, in such a calm manner that Mukada can't answer in anything but a sputter. He denies all charges while Timmy and Dylan corner the market on smug and depart. We then cut to Timmy asking Robson if he can take care of something for him. Robson wants to know if he's got the cash. Next scene is Samuel being wheeled into the infirmary while some guy tells Gloria what's causing the large amount of swollen flesh on poor Samuel's face. Squeezing balloon music.
Said's pod of conflicted torment. Father Mukada waits for Arif the doorman to allow him access. He quite obviously needs to talk but fronts that he just brought the schedule for Said, showing the times he may hold services in the cafeteria. Said gives him the look of "I know something's amiss, talk to me my son." But says, "There is nothing else?" Mukada laughs with relief since he may now spill the beans without having to ask. "I made an assumption about the Reverend Cloutier, that he was a phony." He admits that when Timmy wanted to switch to the Reverend's congregation, rather than remaining Catholic, it bugged him and he made a judgment, rather than reveling in the fact that Timmy was still celebrating God. He admits to wanting him to do it through "the one true church," which would be Mukada's. Said dispenses the wisdom that as long as they all march to a higher drummer, we must accept how they choose to do it. I'm paraphrasing, of course, but I think you all get the gist. Cut to Mukada telling Reverend Dylan that he wants to talk to him. He wants to throw an ecumenical service, and Dylan says that he was thinking the exact same thing. Everybody's friends now, joining hands together and being one, blah blah blah. I'm all warm inside. They apologize to each other for acting like assholes. Mukada claims that their sins are their bond. Whatever gets you through, Mukada. We cut to the recording of "We Are The World," already in progress. Mukada is joined by Said, Cloutier, and the priest guy. Mukada is leading by explaining that in the house of God, there are many rooms. Each room holds His presence as much as the other. As he talks, we pan around the inmates, some listening, some not; others are watching in amazement as the fishcakes fall out of Mukada's mouth and splatter on the floor, only to then be flattened by the POINT OF IT ALL as it falls from the sky, crashes through the ceiling, and lands with a note fastened to the top on which the golden words are written, "Dear All -- Even I want you to move on, they get it -- Love, God A. Mighty."