Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: C | 5 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Pining For A White Oak Bridge Over the Fjord
By Cindy McLennan | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.22.2012
Stefan's at Mossy Manse, just pouring himself a glass of blood, when Elena lets herself in. Damon told Alaric no one was home, so Elena's just popping in to pick up the book about Samantha Fell. She apologizes for intruding and asks Stefan how he's doing. He answers too quickly that he's fine and asks her if she has everything she needs, in a way that is pretty much code for: Can you leave now, please, because I really want to drink this blood, but I really don't want to do it with you here. Elena says she's all set, and to let her know if she can help him. Stefan tells her she doesn't have to bother reading the book and sums up the story. Samantha Gilbert was committed to an asylum. She tried to give herself a lobotomy with a knitting needle and bled to death on the floor of her cell. If the same thing is happening to Alaric, there's nothing that can be done for him. Sheeeesh, Stefan. SPOILERS! Elena nods toward the blood and sniffs that she's going to let Stef get back to whatever it is he was doing. Oh, you two crazy kids. You're never going to shake each other, are you?
Sage and Damon take a walk through the woods. I wish I could screen cap a good shot of Sage's hair, bring it to my stylist and say that's the color red I want. I might want the cut, too. I definitely want the color. Gorgeous. [Note: Would a gif work? -- Rachel.] Anyhow, Sage explains that Finn turned her so they could be together forever, but then Klaus daggered him and she's been waiting for him ever since. Damon can't get over that Finn is her twu wuv. I wonder if Finn is suicidal because he thinks Sage is dead or something. Sage is relieved to learn Damon and Rebekah aren't friends in any way other than engaging in hate sex.
Sage: Her and Klaus always treated me like some peasant whore.
Recapper: Her and Klaus? Oh, Sage. Heaven knows I play with words, make up words, intentionally misspell words, punctuate by gut and commit typos like they're a religious rite, but her and Klaus? You've been alive forever and have no trace of an accent. Your grammar should be better.
Anyhow, Damon tells Sage he knows Rebekah is up to something and just can't figure out what. Sage tells him to get inside her mind. Damon counters that Becky is too strong. Sage says she could do it. Damon says that since Rebekah is an Original, it's not going to happen. I say, wait a minute. Sage has been a vampire for 900 years or so. Becky has been daggered off and on. It's worth a shot. Sage takes a lower route, though. She reminds Damon how she taught him to exploit feminine weakness. Oh Sage, why did you have to make me want to choke you this soon? (I still love your hair color, though.) So yeah, if Damon finds Rebekah's weakness and exploits it, Sage will walk right into Rebekah's mind, which is undoubtedly full of a 1000 years or so of childish grudges, so I don't know how anyone expects to find anything in there. Commercial.