Episode Report Card Daniel: B | 1 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT I Feel Like Salmonella Tonight, Like Salmonella Tonight
By Daniel | Season 11 | Episode 3 | Aired on 03.26.2013
Ready for dinner service! There's a tableside Greek salad, to be prepared by Cyndi for Red, and Jeremy for Blue. So much for Jeremy proving how capable he plans to be in the kitchen.
What is it, Olympic Week at Hell's Kitchen? Kristi Yamaguchi is there, making everyone feel old when we realize she won gold twenty years ago. Ryan Hollins of the Clippers is there, so everyone try not to get too excited.
As promised, Ramsay reads Blue's tickets super-slow, and sarcastically asks Michael (and Ray, even though Ray didn't ask for it) if that was slow enough. There is some nonsense with Barret worried about Old Man Ray and his supposedly fading memory, of which we've seen no evidence and continue to see no issue.
Out in the kitchen, it's clear Jeremy has been placed where he'll do the least damage. He's almost comically inept. And Blue's got other problems: The guy from the Clippers is sending his rice back because it's "too hard" and Jean-Phillippe doesn't tell him that he only gets to send food back if he plays for a team that has won more than two playoff series in its entire existence.
Anyway, Ray has to get another risotto on the go. Fortunately for us all, Zach isn't letting his shameful salmon performance prevent him from lording it over Ray, who Ramsay calls "Granddad." There is a brief period where the rest of the team worries that Ray is going to start watching Lawrence Welk and shit his pants or something, and then Ray makes a perfect risotto because he is a professional. The man from the Clippers approves!
In Red, Jessica is making a huge risotto, and Susan, presumably the Risotto Queen, thinks Ramsay will not approve. He also doesn't approve of her slowness, but yes, he slams the huge pan she's made for just one portion of risotto.
Blue is now humming on entrees, so Dan on meat and Michael on garnish have to work together. But Dan has to admit that the lamb on one ticket is raw. Of course for Dan, when he screws up, he then bitches about his teammates being annoyed by it. Goddammit, why did the guy name Dan have to be such a massive prick? And then after making Ramsay wait and angering him, he serves up dogshit anyway. Michael gets all pursed-lips about it, but fair enough.
In Red, Danielle and Jacqueline are on meat, and Ramsay stops some raw chicken from going out. "Wake up!" he yells. And he yells at them some more. Fortunately, Jacqueline decides to actually cook the chicken on her second attempt.