Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A | 87 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT And The Black Guy Always Dies
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.21.2013
Once Elena and Caroline tease Bonnie about all the stuff she didn't tell her mother (like her death and witch power-free corporeal ghost resurrection, as well as her Other Side anchor status), Bonnie admits she left out the details, but she'll explain things to her mother when she visits. Given Abby's history of abandoning her daughter, Bonnie might never have to say another word on the subject.
Looking over all the booze her friends have purchased, Bonnie asks just how big the party is going to be, but I have a more important question: How great does Kat Graham look in those short shorts? Baby got back and American thighs. You can tell she's a dancer. Her legs look strong. I love it. I have to say, I give this show a lot of guff for a lot of things, but its actresses don't generally look like they're starring in a Karen Carpenter biopic. I appreciate that, Show. Anyhow, there's party talk, and Caroline and Elena expect it will be massive, until they remember they've each only made one friend at school (Caroline/Jesse and Elena/Aaron). Don't worry, ladies. Just have John Locke turn the frozen donkey wheel and move the college a little closer to Mystic Falls so you can invite the other four or five living-ish people whose existence you deign to notice on a regular basis. I'm pretty sure Damon has Locke's number in his contacts.
When Caroline exposits (I'll spare you) about the Vampire-hating Secret Society, Bonnie says, "Augustine, right?" She kept up on them from the Other Side and knows about the cover-up of Megan's death, as well as Maxfield telling Elena they'd better drop out and move home. Elena and Caroline don't care if the Augustine Society wants them gone -- they're staying and having jello shots, damn it. Bonnie checks her phone and lies that she has to register for classes. Her roomies pretend to buy that, but then turn their backs to her. Caroline pretends to make out with a sleeve of Solo cups, while Elena crosses her arms and grabs her own back, to make it look like she's making out with someone. Bonnie cringes, laughs and rushes out.
The next time we see our witch's ghost, she's sitting on a quad bench, making out with Jeremy. When Bonnie tells him about Elena and Caroline's teasing, Jeremy suggests they head back to his place. Oh, maybe Damon and Locke already moved the college this week. Bonnie laughs at Jeremy's suggestion -- but not because Mystic Falls is a "few hours" away. "You mean Damon's house? While we're at it, why don't we just have sex in his bathtub?" Well, it is a great tub. Just looking at it has been known to make women amorous. Bonnie adds, "Maybe Katherine could watch." They smooch some more and I've got to say I don't sense the chemistry void some of our members are bemoaning. I think Bonnie and the Germ are cute together. He at least has the good sense to compliment her new hairdo.