Episode Report Card M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Fished In
By M. Giant | Season 8 | Episode 3 | Aired on 01.14.2010
Meanwhile, Dana gets a call on her headset. It's from security at perimeter gate nine, saying she has a visitor. How many perimeter gates does a place need when so far we've only seen people go in and out via an underground tunnel? She smiles at the novelty of it, because she's not as quick as you and I are in realizing that it's her stalker. But then the guard says it's Kevin Wade. "Says he's a friend of yours." Dana's brain goes into vapor-lock, and she pulls up a video feed from that gate up on her monitor. There he is, smirking up at her on the security camera. "Tell him I'll be right there," she instructs the guard, because this subplot is so dumb it even makes Dana dumb. As she gets up from her desk, Chloe watches with suspicion, her on-and-off ability to read people currently in the "on" position. Dana puts on her blazer, gets on the blinding-white elevator by scanning her palm on the reader (fire hazard, anyone?), and rides it up. As she does so, she removes her engagement ring and drops it in her jacket pocket. So she's not smart enough to tell the guard to get rid of her stalker, but she is smart enough to not only get a high-profile gig at CTU but also find out where to get ladies' jackets with real pockets.
Up on the surface, Kevin is trying to chat up the guard about what CTU is, but "Ms. Walsh is on her way," is all the guard will say at 6:18:07 (it's not like he says anything else the whole rest of the hour either, just to be clear). The guard hands Kevin his ID back, and Dana comes out of the glorified guard hut that is the elevator's terminus on the surface. She favors the guard with an "Everything's fine, we're fine, how are you?" smile before leading Kevin off to a safe distance in the middle of the parking lot, near where he parked his van. The guard discreetly heads back inside as Kevin taunts her, saying he likes her as a blonde and even creepily touching her hair. She rounds on him, demanding to know what he's doing there and what he wants. He seems to think they're going to get back together, because he's a stupid guy in a stupid subplot. Obviously Dana is not down with that, so Kevin taunts her some more, looking at her CTU ID badge (which identifies her as a senior data analyst, like, could you vague that up, show?) until she snatches it back and offers him money to make him go away. "Say my name," he insists. Instead of doing what any self-respecting person would do in this situation, which would be to mock him right back by singing some Destiny's Child at him, she says it. Now he wants her to say "Please, Kevin." Where is this going to stop? With him asking to crash at her place? She forces a "please, Kevin" out through gritted teeth and again asks what he wants. He says, "A place to crash, for starters. Getting a little tired of living out of the van." See, what did I tell you? She refuses, so he threatens to tell everyone about her, touching her hair and face some more and saying it won't be so bad. "It'll be just like old times. You'll come home and we'll catch up." Just to get him off her, she pulls away and gets her keys out of her pocket, telling him he can stay the night but has to be gone tomorrow. I hope it's before 5:00. He agreeably takes the keys and walks over to his van, because he's already established that he can make her do whatever he wants; she's the only one who doesn't know that yet. When she offers her address, he pleasantly says, "Already got it." Well isn't he helpful? Dana turns and stalks back to the entrance at 6:24:06. And I think we can assume that she doesn't live with Cole, because she doesn't stop and smack her forehead halfway there.