Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: B | 9 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT The Course of True Love
By Monty Ashley | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 05.12.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.First of all, remember last week when Jon Snow and crew climbed the Wall? They still haven't reached Castle Black, so there's still more walking. This gives Ygritte plenty of time to mock Jon Snow for knowing about things like roads and buildings and also tell him a few more times that he knows nothing. It also lets Orell confess his love for her, which I view as a blatant attempt to get more screen time by trying to create a love triangle.
Robb Stark is still on his way to marry Edmure Tully off to Walder Frey's daughter. They're going to be a day late because of rain, and also because Robb and Talisa keep having so much sex. Oh, and Talisa's pregnant.
Sansa is not at all happy about having to marry Tyrion, because this doesn't match up with her dreams of romance at all. Margaery Tyrell has to explain to her that her child could end up as Lord of Casterly Rock and Winterfell, and also that there are worse Lannisters to be engaged to. Like Joffrey, for example, and you don't see Margaery complaining. And speaking of Joffrey, Tywin gives him a lecture about minding his own business and doing what his counselors tell him. It's pretty bad-ass, except that Joffrey might be right to be concerned about Daenerys's dragons.
The people who have to deal with Daenerys face-to-face are certainly taking her seriously. She finally arrives at Yunkai, which is another walled city with two hundred thousand slaves. They offer to give her lots of gold and ships if she'll just leave them alone, but she's gotten into the habit of destroying cities if they doen't free their slaves. But she'll keep the gold, because she's not crazy.
Jaime leaves Harrenhal for King's Landing. But he develops a conscience and goes back for Brienne. And it's a good thing he does, because she's being forced to fight a bear. And she's only got a wooden sword. So naturally, Jaime jumps down in the pit to defend her. And then it's a good thing someone shoots the bear with a crossbow, because Jaime doesn't even have a wooden sword to defend himself.
Oh, and Theon is still being tortured. This time, two sexy ladies rub up against him, and then he gets his genitals cut off. Or mutilated or something, I don't know.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!The credits once again contain King's Landing, Harrenhal, Riverrun, Winterfell, the Wall and Yunkai. My excitement for learning what Yunkai is like has reached a fever pitch! This is its third appearance in the credits and no one's even been there yet. Oh, what wonders must Yunkai hold?
There's an eagle in the sky, which must mean we're checking in on Jon Snow. I like having Orell around because his eagle helps set the scene. Also because Mackenzie Crook has an interesting face. Tormund and the rest of the crew walk through green grass. I guess all the snow was on the other side of the Wall. It's so big that it can hold back the weather! Jon tells Ygritte he thinks they're about a week away from Castle Black, but he's guessing, since he got to use a road last time. Ygritte mocks this, of course: "You and your roads." Now she hates roads? You should try them sometime, sister. They're great! She also mocks the idea of an army that includes men carrying banners or playing drums, considering they can't fight. Jon explains that the drumbeats help the men march in time, and she mocks that too. I'm getting pretty sick of her attitude. Every other sentence is small-minded mockery. And I am aware of the irony involved in pointing that out in the middle of a snarky recap where I'm doing the same thing, so you needn't point it out. Ygritte says that when they hit Castle Black, they won't be banging drums to announce their arrival. Jon reminds her that Mance is going to "light the biggest fire the north has ever seen" to announce their arrival and she tells him he knows nothing. Orell comes up behind Jon and agrees with that sentiment. Jon takes the opportunity to confront Orell about cutting him and Ygritte loose on the climb. Orell points out that Ygritte isn't sulking about it, so Jon should get over it. He explains his thesis to Jon: "People work together when it suits them." And that goes for loving and killing each other, too. Ygritte knows that, but Jon doesn't. So he'll never hold on to her. This seems like wishful thinking on Orell's part, to me.
I'm not sure where Jon and the rest of them are now. They're south of the Wall, unless that was a completely different incredibly tall sheet of ice they climbed last week. But they're still a week from Castle Black, which is supposed be on the Wall itself. So they appear to have climbed over it with the intention of approaching the castle from the south. But then shouldn't they just be walking next to the Wall itself?