Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A- | 91 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT 50 Shades Of FanFic
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.12.2013
Stefan calls Wes. He wants Elena back and says he has Aaron and is wondering how to kill him. Wes says he's wondering how Elena will function without her cerebral cortex. She doesn't seem to use it nearly as much as she did in the first two seasons, so she'd probably be fine. Still, I scream at Elena to yell out that she is in her dad's clinic. She ignores me. See what I mean?
Back in the lecture hall, Enzo lectures Aaron on his history with Damon. When Stefan returns with news that they are at a stalemate with Wes, Enzo is annoyed by the interruption. Damon asks if Wes isn't worried because they have Aaron. Stefan says, "He doesn't care. He's willing to risk it." Enzo really wants someone to hear his story. Aaron offers to talk to Wes. Damon says, "What part of 'he doesn't care' isn't registering?" Enzo rips out one of the hall's seats and smashes it. "Where were we? Ah, right. I was telling my story and you were all politely listening. Huh." He talks about his deal with Damon but we just saw all of this shit last week. Fire bad. Enzo pretty. Damon leaves him to die. Stefan eyes Damon and then states the obvious. Enzo says he's only alive because was spared by one of the scientists, and doomed to another 50 years of lab-rattery. Feeling he's earned the break, Enzo takes off for something to wet his whistle.
Stefan turns to Damon. "You didn't tell me about him." Damon says, "It was the 1950s. What? I'm supposed to remember every moment of my life." Wow, that did not sound like Damon (original recipe or extra crispy). It sounds like the writers anticipated audience objections to Damon's decades long vengeance quest, and thought they could head them off in this awkward dialogue. Ick. Even Damon seems embarrassed by it, so he remembers himself and asks, "Now do you want to kill Aaron or should I?" Stefan still wants to talk about Damon's non-reaction to Enzo, so Damon decides he'll kill the kid. Don't be silly, Damon. You can't kill this character that fast. He's white.
Aaron volunteers that he has a huge dossier full of information about his family history. Damon is doubtful of such a timely revelation. "If you're lying, I'm going to take my thumbs and I'm going to gouge out your sad little eyes, out of your sad little head." Enzo returns with a bottle of something. Stefan tells them they're going with Plan B. Enzo says Damon's staying right there, since he knows how ornery Enzo gets, when he doesn't get his way. Damon tells Stefan to head off with Aaron. "Call me if you find anything. Kill him if you don't." We cut to...