Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT About Last Night...
By Lady Lola | Season 4 | Episode 10 | Aired on 10.06.2011
Since she's emotional and drinking, Snooki decides to sleep on things and compose a concise, measured letter that she will reconsider in the morning.
You didn't actually believe me there did you? Of course she calls Jionni that very minutes to bawl him out for changing his status and maybe discreetly slip in the fact that she banged her roommate. Jionni picks up, and the phone call is a train wreck from word one. They are both angry, defensive and screaming. Snooki croaks through tears how much she loves Jionni and is tortured without him. Then she takes a big swig of beer before telling Jionni she hooked up with Vinny. She insists over and over that they didn't have sex, but the way she says it is very slurred and sounds like "We DID(n't) have sex." Her guilty subconscious at work, methinks. She begs him not to hang up. He doesn't and instead tells her they're done and that he's going to kill Vinny. Dial tone. Title card: "SINGLE?"
Sicily. The guys wake up. Ronnie stands up, disoriented and gorilla-like, which Pauly immediately jumps up to mockingly recreate. To his credit, Ronnie laughs it off. Vinny says thanks and goodbye to his family, promising to return.
Back in Florence, Snooki calls Jionni again. He asks her for explicit details about what happened with Vinny. She interviews that she suspect they tried to have sex, but it "just didn't work." Clearly this is a fabrication of which she has convinced herself. Whatever you need to get through the day, hon. As the girls listen across the room, Snooki tells Jionni "He [bleep] me, that's all." I suspect the term she used was "finger banged," but that's merely an educated guess. Jionni says she couldn't possibly care about him to do such a thing, but she insists he's all she thinks about and apologizes tearfully. He says he'll give her another chance before hanging up. Snooki practically gets down on her knees -- but not for the reason you think, ya pervs! She wants to thank "Jesus fuckin' Christ." She tells JWOWW the good news, screaming, "I'm in love, like what the fuck?!"
The guys arrive home, and -- having successfully pulled the wool over Jionni's eyes -- she decides to get to the bottom, so to speak, of what happened with Vinny. So she asks him on camera. Again, these kids are not the smartest. So she asks Vinny and, frankly, he's embarrassed that he has to speak these things to her. As they walk to the smoking patio, he describes their smushery as "a glitch in The Matrix," but then everything returned to normal. By the time they get to the patio, he's moved past his embarrassment and realized he has a prime opportunity to embarrass her. He absolutely delights in telling her that she begged, "Fuck me, I'm horny." She insists they were just cuddling. Vinny: "My balls cuddling with your cuca." Snooki realizes she has to tell Jionni, though maintains her innocence about lying before: "I really honestly thought we didn't have sex. I mean, I blacked out a little bit. Whattayagonnado?"