Episode Report Card Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Math Is Hard
By Pamie | Season 4 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.16.2004
Lane comes back to her dorm room to find Paris fighting with Janet and her boyfriend. Paris unleashes a string of fat jokes to this guy's face. People who sleep in old, wrinkly, grandfatherly houses shouldn't throw gallstones. Janet holds her own, though: "There's nothing like the bitterness of the lonely." Boyfriend agrees: "Yeah." Paris: "Nice addition, Potsie." Janet tells Paris to go put on her spinster dress.
Paris tells Lane that she's moving, or Janet has to leave. Lane -- wearing a Paul Frank shirt I am now coveting -- tells Paris that she hates it when they fight. She tells Paris to just tell Janet about Professor Fleming. Paris wheels around, amazed that Rory told Lane her secret, and storms out of the room. Someone hits "Door Opens (Angry)" on the sound-effects machine.
Rory's swiping cards and leaving cell-phone messages. Paris pulls her away from her job to lay into Rory about telling Lane her secret. In Rory's defense, Lane lived in Stars Hollow when Rory gossiped about Paris. Rory lies and tells Paris she's told no one else. Paris doesn't want Lane living with them anymore because Lane knows too much. Paris says she talked with Janet and Tana, and they all agree that it's too crowded with Lane there. She knows Rory likes having Lane around, because she brings back small-town happiness and field-skipping days of simple glee and Carpenters songs, but she doesn't belong at Yale. She tells Rory to stop blabbing, and storms off. Go, Paris.
Janet does sit-ups as Tana watches television. Rory enters, assuming that Paris was lying about Lane. But it turns out Tana and Janet do think it's strange and wrong that Lane has been living with them, and that it's too crowded. Seriously. I'd be so pissed off if my roommate smuggled in a friend for an indefinite period of time without ever asking me if it'd be okay. Janet says she'd vote Paris out over Lane in a heartbeat, but that Paris actually pays for the room and goes to the school. Tana asks Rory if she's mad. Rory says she's not, and leaves the room.
Lane's in Rory's room, staring at the wall, waiting for her friend to activate her "Alive" button. Rory tells Lane she has to study. Lane figures out from Rory's look that Paris is mad, and now Lane's out of the dorm. Rory offers to talk to her roommates again. Lane points out that she doesn't go to the school, and that it's time for her to leave anyway. Rory suggests that Lane either get a job as a janitor or apply to Yale so that she doesn't have to go home. Lane says that her squatting isn't fair to anyone there, and says she'll leave the next morning. I like that Lane doesn't have to be terminally perky in this scene, so she actually sounds like a normal person who's just a bit beat down. Rory remembers how she and Lane used to talk about living together someday in a house made of cheese. "You brought Stars Hollow here," Rory pouts. Lane promises to visit.