Episode Report Card DeAnn Welker: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Bye-Bye, Deformed Boobs
By DeAnn Welker | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Aired on 06.21.2010
Albert and Caroline talk about Albie's law school situation, because she wants to make sure they're on the same page before they deal with their grown son's problems for him.
Teresa and Jacqueline go shopping for clothes now that they've had their babies. They're shopping at Posche, owned by Kim D., who previously bashed Danielle to them but then went to a luncheon with Danielle. Gasp! Good thing for this show, though, since they obviously don't have enough current footage to fill the air time. Anyway, Kim D. says she only lunched with Danielle because she's a customer. Teresa's considering inviting Kim D. to her housewarming party, but only if she's not friends with Danielle, because she wants no drama that night. As if that's possible at any party on this show. The producers will manipulate some right up for us if none happens organically.
Danielle's out of the drama for now, though, because she's going in for her breast surgery. She has every confidence in her genius bubby doctor. We get a gross shot of Danielle full-frontal from the waste up (with nipples blurred) as the doctor draws on her chest and reviews the procedure with her. It's almost more than I can take, really. I should be getting hazard pay for this. Danielle assures us she's not doing this for aesthetic reasons; it's out of necessity. But, you know, the first three times... Once she's under, the doctor tells everyone that this is the worst case he's ever seen and she has one of the worst deformities he's ever seen. He's exasperated, basically, and all of the doctors are horrified, all "I don't know what to do" and "This is not an easy case, man." But they go ahead and cut. I would definitely want a surgeon who cuts before knowing what he wants to do.
Albert and Caroline take their kids out for dinner to make them all feel good about life. It's basically: Lauren, you're awesome at makeup. Chris, you have a great personality. Albie, stay handsome. Ha. Caroline says someone told her the other day that Chris was better-looking than Albie. They argue over who's their dad's favorite, and Albie pretty much wants to kill himself. Caroline's done feeling sorry for Albie, though, since he's a man and needs to act like one.
Teresa shows up late to meet her party planner for furniture shopping, and they bicker some more in front of giant, shiny, gold, plastic-looking furniture that they both love. Hey, they do have something in common after all!
Elvira shows up with about ten cars full of people to get Teresa's house ready for the party. Teresa witnesses Elvira being a bitch to her helpers, too, so it's not just her at least. Elvira's entourage, all dressed in black, are decorators, fire eaters, caterers, break dancers. Teresa's hairdresser shows up and she excuses herself, to which Elvira replies, "Are you kidding? I don't need you. I do this all the time." Jacqueline calls Teresa, begging for an invitation to the party for Kim G. Teresa's "like, nice like that," so she invites her. Not for Kim G., but for Jacqueline. Teresa tells Jacqueline twenty times she's nice, but Kim G. "better not bring up the bitch," because it's her night and she wants to enjoy it.