Episode Report Card Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Inner Fright
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 17 | Aired on 02.26.2002
A candle-lit room. T'Pol blows a flame out, and we hear a voice-over of B'Stiller repeating his words about the Vulcan "primal nature" not being as dangerous as she thinks. A leggings-and-babushka-clad T'Pol walks through some dark and misty city streets, while bluesy sax notes wail in the distance. Suddenly, B'Stiller is hovering around T'Pol's ears on Enterprise, asking, "Do you like the taste?" Back to the misty streets and the sugar-free jazz moment. Babushka T'Pol slo-mos it to a bar, from which the strains of the irritating jazz emanate. She enters. Still hovering around T'Pol's ears, B'Stiller says, "You must've learned a great deal about emotion." Hey, B'Stiller, do the world a favor: pull your lip up over your head and swallow. Naked T'Pol lies in bed next to Naked B'Stiller. They look like underfed mannequins. Naked B'Stiller turns his head on the pillow and asks Naked T'Pol, "Why do you stay here?" Babushka T'Pol looks around the jazz club and wonders what a Vulcan needs to do to get a Raz Stoli gimlet. The bright light of the Arachnid Nebula also manages to become part of her dream. Yeah, we get it: arachnid = spider = web entangling T'Pol. Boring. And is it just me, or do the nebula cloud formations look a little too Georgia O'Keeffe-ish, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. The two underfed mannequins make out under the sheets, creating as much on-air heat as two thawing breasts of chicken. Babushka T'Pol closes her eyes and lets the accelerating jazz creep over her like a rash. More malnourished mannequin making out. The Yoda action figure of Surak -- which looks so very oddly like Mel Brooks as Yogurt in Spaceballs -- falls to the floor and shatters. T'Pol jolts awake and finds herself alone in bed.
I don't know if it's the young Billy Crystal doppelganger or the mention of the Staedtler protractor, but there's just something I really like about that very German Volkswagen Beetle commercial.
Sick Bay. Phlox scans T'Pol and tells her, "This is more than a simple headache. Your blood pressure's elevated, and I'm reading unusually high synaptic activity. Doesn't appear to be a virus or a bacterial infection. I'd like to run a cranial scan, just to be safe." T'Pol tells him that's not necessary, and explains that the reason for her Vulcan problem is that she didn't meditate the previous night and, as a result, woke up with tousled sensibilities. She requests an injection of "inaprovaline." "Twenty-five milligrams should suffice," she says. It's her hormone replacement therapy. "Very well, 'Doctor,'" Phlox says ironically, and goes to oblige. Of course, he asks why she didn't meditate in the first place: "This wouldn't have anything to do with our visitors? You've been spending quite a bit of time on their ship." T'Pol tells him she's "become acquainted" with one of them, who suggested she eschew her meditations in order to have more interesting dreams. "And?" Phlox prompts her. "He was wrong," T'Pol says, "they were unsettling. It was a foolish thing to do." Phlox hyposprays her and says he understands why she might want to embrace their philosophy, and maybe she "shouldn't be so quick to dismiss it after one bad experience." T'Pol tells him, "There are too many risks. It would be unwise to continue." Phlox decides to accept her reasoning, but says, "If you do decide to experiment further, keep in mind that they've been working on this for a number of years. You've only known them for two days. Go slowly, hmm?" T'Pol thanks him and leaves.
Captain Butthead's Ready Room; he leans against the window, once more indicating by this stance that he shoulders the burden of many galaxies. Atlas he is not, and I really think he should consider giving that up for Lent. Kov enters and indicates that he's there at Quantum's request. Captain Lead Foot attempts to explain the situation with Kov's father, and delicately suggests that the Vulcan man-child make nice with Pater Vulcan. Note that I said "attempts." Kov resents this intrusion, and tells him he'll deal with it in his own way. Quantum acknowledges his nosiness, but keeps intruding regardless and asks if Kov plans on reaching out to touch his father. "The last time I spoke with my father, he said I brought shame to fifteen generations of our family," Kov says by way of a response. Yeah, well, parents are like that. Every time you turn around, you're shaming a bunch of ancestors. If it's not the tongue stud, it's the Neo-Nazi boyfriend or joining an emotional cult -- it's a generational thing. Quantum doesn't think so, and needlessly reminds the young Vulcan that his father is courting the Grim Reaper. Kov doesn't really care, and doesn't really want Quantum's needlepoint mottos either. "If it isn't too much trouble, would you please send a message back for me? Tell him that we said goodbye a long time ago," Kov says, and leaves. Quantum furrows.