Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Dead can dance.
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.21.2001
Ms. Pipp's attorney closes by talking about how first impressions and packaging are everything in our society. "But this woman is a human being, for God's sake, and where do we draw the line, and Soylent Green is pe-e-e-eople!" he says. Then Ally gets up and repeats that packaging does count, and that Ms. Hill's receptionist is part of her company's packaging. You know, however, that she couldn't just close the case without making it about herself, right? She informs the jury that she herself was hired for her looks. She says, "I got my job based on my appearance -- my pretty face, my slender legs, the perfect contour of my buttocks. Does that make me proud? No." Jeez, this show makes me ill. Throughout the two closings, we go back and forth between reaction shots from Ms. Hill and Ms. Pipp. I can't get over the fact that Ms. Pipp is better looking than both Ms. Hill and Ally. I guess I'm just being shallow, though. However, even if Ms. Pipp weren't pretty, I'd rather have sex with her than with Ally, because she's funny. Funny chicks turn me on. I guess that's why I don't like Ally McBeal very much.
John approaches Mr. Bo at Ye Olde Homeless Persons' Bonfire. After a rude exchange of words, Mr. Bo solemnly asks if John loves Melanie. John thinks he does. "Then I have to wrestle you," says Mr. Bo, in a way that was almost funny. John demurs and offers to purchase some mental health treatment for Mr. Bo instead. Mr. Bo calls John a chicken and ominous-yet-humorous music plays.
The jury decides in favor of Jerry Hill. Jerry and Ally trade vaguely barbed words that have no effect on anything, except maybe on Jerry's perception of Fish & Cage's professionalism. All I can say is that, if physical attributes were such an important part of Ms. Pipp's job, Ms. Hill should have said so before hiring her. It should have been in the job description so that women applying for the job could decide whether they wanted to go through the hassle of being sex objects or not. Because it was not in the job description, Ms. Pipp wasted years of her career at Roth PR and now only has a hole in her résumé to show for it.
Can we just get to the freaking twist contest already? Sheesh.
The camera moves jerkily over Boston at night, reminding me of that Madonna video in which I used to think Madonna was singing "And I feel like a disco ball." She actually sings "I feel like I just got home." My version sounds better, doesn't it? That's me, though. I'm wacky with the song lyrics. That's my quirk. I know some of MBTV's sometime readers think that I don't have the right to make fun of the show because I don't always know all the details of the songs played on it. I didn't recognize the words of master lyricist Bob Seger -- who am I to voice an opinion? In response, I'd like to quote the man himself: