Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mixed Marital Arts
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.20.2011
These are the jokes, and they will redefine your ideas about fluffers...
Come Again?
Tracy: Liz Lemon, I want it to be noted that I am here on time. This is a new year and a fresh start for me. Now I gotta go.
Lemon: Where are you going?
Tracy: I'm hosting the International Pornography Awards, and I have to go get an insurance physical so I can fly into the arena in a penis-shaped parachute.
Diagnosis Murda
Dr. Spaceman: Tracy, you are going to die...
Tracy: What? No!
Dr. Spaceman: ...when I tell you who I'm dating. Squeaky Fromme. She is... difficult. Anywho, I have the results of your physical. Tracy, you are going to die...
Tracy: What? No!
Dr. Spaceman: You have no reflexes, your blood tastes like root beer, and some of your bones appear to have vanished. Now, I've only ever seen this kind of thing on dead people during Operation: Desert Storm. I actually wrote a report on it, but my commander refused to pass it on up to Saddam. Kooky times!
Tracy: But I can't die, Dr. Spaceman! Who will be there to raise my kids if I'm not around to pay someone to raise my kids?
Cats in Chaps, FTW!
Jack: We'll do this divorce the hard way. But I'm warning you, this isn't my first rodeo, Lemon.
Lemon: Well I've been to a rodeo, too. It was a cat rodeo in a gay guy's apartment.
Fluffer, Nutter
Kenneth: Mr. Hornberger, do you and your wife ever fight?
Pete: Not all the time. After her hysterectomy, she was in a coma briefly.
Kenneth: How do y'all make up?
Pete: Look, Paula and I love each other, but two people living together? It's unnatural. And while our children are basically snot silos with BB guns, they do come in handy... as a buffer.
Kenneth: Is that like being a fluffer? Because I have done that and did not enjoy it. Blow-drying animals at a pet salon is hard work.
Pete: A buffer is a protective barrier.
Kenneth: Like pigs have around their delicious testicle meat!
And They Should Have Called It Angie-oplasty
Jack: I should never have made you an intern. You're a star!
Angie: That's right. I am!
Jack: Entertainment is where untalented people go to get rich. And you have all the makings of a reality superstar -- hair pullingness, delusions of grandeur, an insanely short fuse, catchphrases...
Angie: It's my way 'til pay day!
Jack: That's the T-shirt. I should give you your own reality show. Friday nights, 11 o'clock.