Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mary Kate, Ashley, and their Simon sandwich
By Gwen | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.19.2000
In the theater, Simon admonishes his Murphy date for her misdemeaning ways. She kisses him, and that shuts him up. She's about to kiss him again when the usher shines a flashlight in their faces and shrilly asks to see their ticket stubs.
Mike has gone to the Senior Dance alone. Lucy shows up with a twin on her hip and her siblings in tow and asks him if he wants to dance. He is of course all happy to see Lucy and her bosom. They dance while Katie and Chris stare in surprise. Lucy tells Mike that she isn't going to let gossip come between them. Whoop-dee-doo.
Of course Sgt. Michaels is the officer who shows up to bust Simon and Co. He and Simon have their little talk, and I can't help but notice that the two of them have matching eyebrows. "There's nothin' good about bein' bad," says Sgt. Michaels. He's fixed it all up so that no one will press charges. Simon just has to give him a little kiss, he says. Just kidding.
Grace apologizes to RevCam and relates the revelation she had about the evils of gossip. Sgt. Michaels beeps RevCam's beeper.
A Murphy girl apologizes to Simon and explains that she and her sister aren't actually so bad. They pretended to be bad in order to teach Simon and Luke a lesson. Yeah, tell that to the people from whose stuff you stole. I'm sure they'll understand. The two of them plan for another date and then kiss. The CamRents show up and break Simon's mack flow.
Matt comes home to his Swingin' Bachelor Pad, all forlorn. He went to meet Julia but she wasn't there. John is smiling. Why? Because Julia's waiting for Matt in the other room. John tells Matt not to let this one get away, and then he makes himself scarce. Julia explains the contrived reasons she's there and then kisses Dopey. She was wearing the wedding dress for a photo shoot. She's leaving town the next morning. Matt asks if she wants to go out and get some coffee. Julia shakes her head. Guess what Matt says then? You'll never guess. Give up? Okay. He says, "Do you wanna stay and make out like crazy 'til your plane leaves?" Julia kisses him. I guess it's possible that she's a virgin who likes to make out with strangers, too. I mean, it's possible in the 7th Heaven world.
Can this episode please hurry up and end? Lucy asks Mike if the girlfriend-in-another-country story is true. He gives a PSA about suicide not being romantic. Then the CamRents show up at the dance so they can scold Ruthie. They bend down to her level and ask what was up with her lying. Ruthie makes a speech about missing Mary, so the CamRents' guilty consciences keep them from punishing her. The DJ puts on a fricking Ricky Nelson song, and everyone dances. That's punishment enough for me.