Episode Report Card Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT There's a New Boy in Town
By Pamie | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.29.2001
Back at the table, everyone's setting down food and plateware as Luke asks where Jess is. Rory says that Jess is in the kitchen and on his way. Lorelai hands Luke a plate of food. He says, "I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for you." "Too much?" Lorelai asks. Sookie says she forgot the garlic bread and Lorelai goes to the kitchen to get it.
In the kitchen Lorelai looks around for Jess. She can't find him, and eventually walks out back. She sees Jess open a bottle of beer. "Oh, for me? Hey, thanks," she says, and takes the beer. She takes a sip and says, "Refreshing." Lorelai asks if Jess isn't hungry. He says he isn't, really. Lorelai assumes that Jess doesn't want to be in Stars Hollow. Jess snarks that this whole place is so golly-darn-gee-terrific, and isn't life swell? Lorelai says that she's done the whole broody-teen thing and troubled-teen thing and angry-teen thing and she did them all very well. "In heels, no less," she adds. Jess puts on his Manson Lamps for this scene. Lorelai says that Luke is a great guy and that he's trying to do his best with Jess and he wants the best for Jess and that Jess is lucky to have Luke. Jess asks whether Lorelai is fucking his uncle, because there's no other reason for her to be fawning all over the place about how great he is. "You're either really naïve, or you're getting some," he says. Lorelai gets offended and says the awkward line about how there are very few times in her life when she's wanted a cream pie to smash into someone's face, but she'd like a cream pie right now. It's like this episode is dubbed and they dubbed "gun" into "cream pie." Jess says that Lorelai's not being very neighborly. Lorelai says this is her house and she can talk however she wants, so ha-ha. Jess says that Lorelai doesn't know him or his mother or Luke, so she should "Dr. Laura" somebody else. Lorelai says she's going inside and tells him to stay out of her fridge.
Back in the kitchen, Luke enters, asking where Jess is. "Outside working on his Breakfast Club audition," Lorelai says. Best line of the episode. She tells him that Jess is "way more screwed up than [he] thinks he is." Luke asks what she said to him. She says that she told him he had a good thing going here and then he blew up. Luke asks what Lorelai is doing talking to Jess about things like that. Lorelai says she's trying to help Luke. Luke says he doesn't need Lorelai's help. Lorelai says that he does. Luke says that he doesn't want to hear this crap about him not being prepared. Lorelai says that this is the truth, and not crap. They put a cue card near the camera or someone interesting walked on the set right here because Lauren Graham looks right over and stares at the camera just then. I have it on pause and she's making eye contact with me. Luke says he knows what he's doing and he's tired of Lorelai being so condescending. He says that just because Lorelai has a kid doesn't mean she knows everything. Lorelai says that because she has a kid, she knows a little more than Luke does. Luke says that maybe Lorelai just got lucky with Rory. Getting pregnant at sixteen doesn't show a lot of good judgment skills, he adds. Lorelai wishes aloud for two pies. She tells him he won't have to hear her opinion on anything ever again. "Oh, don't tease," Luke says. Lorelai tells him to go find Jess, and he tells her she's not the boss of him. They storm off as we fade to commercial.