Episode Report Card Mr. Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mama's Family
By Mr. Sobell | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.17.2009
Back to the Never-Ending Truck Ride, where Michael is still trying to Rube Goldberg his way out of danger with a setup that will pull down a crate to knock over a vending machine to push open the side of the trailer allowing him and Sara to leap to freedom. It will save everybody's time -- yours, mine, Michael's -- if I tell you that he succeeds. Remember to bend your knees when you jump, kids -- that asphalt's fairly unforgiving. They spring up from the side of the road and take off running; Definitely Not a Cop slams on the brakes, leaps out of the cab and -- gun already drawn -- begins his pursuit.
After a brief message from our sponsors, we return to Little Havana and its world-renowned storefront churches. Mahone, T-Bag and Don Self are all set to begin Operation: See If Scylla Is Inside -- you come up with a punchier name for the operation if you don't like it -- when three ornery-looking gents walk into the Cornerstone Church. Five-on-three may be fun when it comes to hockey fast-breaks and porno movies, but it's not-so hotso when you're staging a commando raid on what may or may not be the front for a global conspiracy. So Team Scylla decides to cool its heels.
"So Lincoln's mother is really the buyer?" Don Self asks. Man, it doesn't take this guy very long to process information, does it. "I hope he understands that if I need to take her out to get to Scylla..." Don Self begins -- and here I have visions of Don wining and dining Ma Scofield -- "I'm not going to hesitate to kill her." Oh. That's a lot less entertaining than what I was imagining. "Well, let's hope that it doesn't come to that," says Mahone to his disbelieving cohorts. "If we can get Scylla without killing Lincoln's mother, that's the preferable outcome." Spoilsport. Why can't we retrieve Scylla and kill somebody? Upon closer questioning from Don Self, however, Mahone concedes that if it's a matter of riddling Ma Scofield with bullets or losing out on the opportunity to retrieve Scylla, a-riddled her body will be.
That bit of business decided, the three ornery-looking gents from earlier can depart the Cornerstone Church just as quickly as they entered. It's go time -- Team Scylla charges in, with Don Self waving his novelty Homeland Security badge. "We're investigating a cruelty to animal charge," Mahone tells Cuban Mandy Patinkin, who professes ignorance as to what all this is about. "We're referring to ritual slaughters of chickens," Don Self says. "You know, that might be allowed where you come from, but here in America, that's no mas?" Wait... Homeland Security investigates chicken mutilations now? That... seems like a pretty shaky pretense for a raid. "This is preposterous," shouts Cuban Mandy Patinkin, agreeing with me. "This is because I am Caribbean?" Caribbean, huh? Don't care to get more specific than that? [Not without enraging a specific group of minorities. - Z] All right, then.